itting to the occasion and
to the speaker. If it be objected that no such oration could ever have
been delivered, I answer, that there are few assemblages for
speech-making which do not better deserve the title of _Parliamentum
Indoctorum_ than did the sixth Parliament of Henry the Fourth, and that
men still continue to have as much faith in the Oracle of Fools as ever
Pantagruel had. Howell, in his letters, recounts a merry tale of a
certain ambassador of Queen Elizabeth, who, having written two letters,
one to her Majesty and the other to his wife, directed them at
cross-purposes, so that the Queen was beducked and bedeared and
requested to send a change of hose, and the wife was beprincessed and
otherwise unwontedly besuperlatived, till the one feared for the wits of
her ambassador, the other for those of her husband. In like manner it
may be presumed that our speaker has misdirected some of his thoughts,
and given to the whole theatre what he would have wished to confide only
to a select auditory at the back of the curtain. For it is seldom that
we can get any frank utterance from men, who address, for the most part,
a Buncombe either in this world or the next. As for their audiences, it
may be truly said of our people, that they enjoy one political
institution in common with the ancient Athenians: I mean a certain
profitless kind of _ostracism_, wherewith, nevertheless, they seem
hitherto well enough content. For in Presidential elections, and other
affairs of the sort, whereas I observe that the _oysters_ fall to the
lot of comparatively few, the _shells_ (such as the privileges of voting
as they are told to do by the _ostrivori_ aforesaid, and of huzzaing at
public meetings) are very liberally distributed among the people, as
being their prescriptive and quite sufficient portion.

The occasion of the speech is supposed to be Mr. Palfrey's refusal to
vote for the Whig candidate for the Speakership.--H. W.]

No? Hez he? He haint, though? Wut? Voted agin him?
Ef the bird of our country could ketch him, she 'd skin him;
I seem 's though I see her, with wrath in each quill,
Like a chancery lawyer, afilin' her bill,
An' grindin' her talents ez sharp ez all nater,
To pounce like a writ on the back o' the traiter.
Forgive me, my friends, ef I seem to be het,
But a crisis like this must with vigour be met;
Wen an Arnold the star-spangled banner bestains,
Holl Fourth o' Julys se