; an' a few
yards off th' door they fan his clooas an' hat an' a pair o' booits, an'
in one o'th' booits they fan a bunion,--an' that wor all ther wor left
o' John.

It wor rayther a awkard thing to swear to, but his wife sed shoo
couldn't be mistakken, for shoo knew it soa weel wol shoo'd be bun to be
able to pick it aght ov a looad o' new puttates. Ov cooarse, they'd a
inquest, but as ther wor noa evidence, an' sich a case had niver been
known befoor, they returned a oppen verdict.

A few days after, as Pill Jim wor gooin' past th' church yard, he saw a
chap oppenin' a grave, an' axed him who he wor oppenin' it for; an' when
he heeard it wor for th' remains o' poor John, he muttered to hissen,
"Noa wonder! noa wonder! them pills, they'll oppen owt. Aw wor sure
they'd awther drive th' bunion away throo John, or John away throo th'
bunion, which wor for th' best aw connot tell; its an oppen question--
them pills leeave ivery--thing oppen."

Moravian Knight's Entertainment.

If yo want to know owt abaght me, let me tell yo 'at they called mi
father Knight, an' when aw wor born he had me kursend Moravian; but noa
sooiner did aw begin to laik wi' th' lads abaght ner aw began to be
called Morry Neet. Soa mich abaght misen.

Aw oft think 'at fowk mak a sad mistak, i' spendin all ther time
leearnin. Aw think if them 'at know soa mich had to spend part o' ther
time taichin other fowk what they know, th' world mud ha' fewer
philosophers, but it 'ud have fewer fooils. As that's my nooation, awve
detarmined to let yo know ha aw gate on th' furst time aw went to a
penny readin, an' may be somdy 'll leearn summat bi that.

Awd seen a lot o' bills stuck up for mony a day, statin' at th' 16th
select penny readin' wor to tak place i'th' Jimmy Loin National Schooil,
an' aw thowt awd goa. Soa when th' neet coom aw went to th' door aw
clap daan mi penny like a mon, an' wor walkin in--

"Stop! Stop!" shaated aght th' brass takker, "Tha mun come back, tha's
nobbut gien me a penny."

"Aw know aw've nobbut gien thee a penny," aw says; "Ha mich moor does ta
want? Its a penny readin, isn't it?"

"Eea, its a penny readin, but its thrippince to goa in," he sed.

"Well, if that's it," aw says, "here's tother tuppince, but awm blowed
if aw see it." But aw went in, an' a rare hoilful ther wor. In a bit
Alderman Nonowt wor vooated into th' cheer, an' then he made a speech--

"Ladies and Gentlemen--(then he coughed two or three t