ther hereafter.

I had in my family only an ancient woman that managed the house, a
maidservant, two apprentices, and myself; and, the plague beginning to
increase about us, I had many sad thoughts about what course I should
take and how I should act. The many dismal objects[128] which happened
everywhere as I went about the streets had filled my mind with a great
deal of horror, for fear of the distemper itself, which was indeed very
horrible in itself, and in some more than others. The swellings, which
were generally in the neck or groin, when they grew hard, and would not
break, grew so painful that it was equal to the most exquisite torture;
and some, not able to bear the torment, threw themselves out at windows,
or shot themselves, or otherwise made themselves away, and I saw several
dismal objects of that kind. Others, unable to contain themselves,
vented their pain by incessant roarings; and such loud and lamentable
cries were to be heard, as we walked along the streets, that[129] would
pierce the very heart to think of, especially when it was to be
considered that the same dreadful scourge might be expected every moment
to seize upon ourselves.

I cannot say but that now I began to faint in my resolutions. My heart
failed me very much, and sorely I repented of my rashness, when I had
been out, and met with such terrible things as these I have talked of. I
say I repented my rashness in venturing to abide in town, and I wished
often that I had not taken upon me to stay, but had gone away with my
brother and his family.

Terrified by those frightful objects, I would retire home sometimes, and
resolve to go out no more; and perhaps I would keep those resolutions
for three or four days, which time I spent in the most serious
thankfulness for my preservation and the preservation of my family, and
the constant confession of my sins, giving myself up to God every day,
and applying to him with fasting and humiliation and meditation. Such
intervals as I had, I employed in reading books and in writing down my
memorandums of what occurred to me every day, and out of which,
afterwards, I took most of this work, as it relates to my observations
without doors. What I wrote of my private meditations I reserve for
private use, and desire it may not be made public on any account
whatever.

I also wrote other meditations upon divine subjects, such as occurred to
me at that time, and were profitable to myself, but not fit for a