hat little red-haired
Celestine.

"'Where's Georgette?' said I.

"'Ah, M'sieur, she has gone,' said Celestine. 'Figure to yourself,
this 'Orace, who used to write with ardour and spirit, sent her
yesterday a poor pitiful note. It made one's heart bleed to read
it, such halting appeal, such inarticulate sentiment. _"Le pauvre
garcon!"_ cried Georgette, "his passion is so strong he cannot find
words for it. He is stricken dumb with excess of feeling. I must be at
his side to comfort him." And she has flown like the wind to Calais,
that she may be affianced to him. But if M'sieur desires to buy the
soap I know the kind you prefer.'

"So you see me," concluded Ronnie plaintively, "bankrupt in love and
money. Three francs, Jim, and I'll chuck in a packet of post-cards."

* * * * *

SONGS OF SIMLA.

I.--THE BUREAUCRAT.

Along a narrow mountain track
Stalking supreme, alone,
Head upwards, hands behind his back,
He swings his sixteen stone.

Quit of the tinsel and the glare
That lit his forbears' lives,
His tweed-clad shoulders amply bear
The burden that was CLIVE'S.

A man of few and simple needs
He smokes a briar--and yet
His rugged signature precedes
The half an alphabet.

Across these green Elysian slopes
The Secretariat gleams,
The playground of his youthful hopes,
The workshop of his schemes.

He sees the misty depths below,
Where plain and foothills, meet,
And smiles a wistful smile to know
The world is at his feet;

To know that England calls him back;
To know that glory's path
Is leading to a _cul de sac_
In Cheltenham or Bath;

To know that all he helped to found,
The India of his prayers,
Has now become the tilting ground
Of MILL-bred doctrinaires.

But his the inalienable years
Of faith that stirred the blood,
Of zeal that won through toil and tears,
And after him--the flood.

J.M.S.

* * * * *

OUR FEMININE ATHLETES.

"Wanted, Young Lady, vaults bar.--Apply personally, Mrs.
-----, Oddfellows' Arms."--_Provincial Paper_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE GREAT RENUNCIATION.

PRESIDENT WILSON. "NO! I DON'T THINK IT QUITE SUITS MY AUSTERE TYPE OF
BEAUTY."

[It is reported that the United States of America have declined to
accept a mandate for Constantinople.]]

*