appeared to me when I first saw them: and at times,
such a leering, mischief-boding cast!--I would have given the world to
have been an hundred miles from him. Yet his behaviour was decent--a
decency, however, that I might have seen to be struggled for--for he
snatched my hand two or three times, with a vehemence in his grasp that
hurt me; speaking words of tenderness through his shut teeth, as it
seemed; and let it go with a beggar-voiced humbled accent, like the vile
woman's just before; half-inward; yet his words and manner carrying the
appearance of strong and almost convulsed passion!--O my dear! what
mischief was he not then meditating!

I complained once or twice of thirst. My mouth seemed parched. At the
time, I supposed that it was my terror (gasping often as I did for
breath) that parched up the roof of my mouth. I called for water: some
table-beer was brought me: beer, I suppose, was a better vehicle for
their potions. I told the maid, that she knew I seldom tasted malt
liquor: yet, suspecting nothing of this nature, being extremely thirsty,
I drank it, as what came next: and instantly, as it were, found myself
much worse than before: as if inebriated, I should fancy: I know not how.

His servant was gone twice as long as he needed: and, just before his
return, came one of the pretended Lady Betty's with a letter for Mr.
Lovelace.

He sent it up to me. I read it: and then it was that I thought myself a
lost creature; it being to put off her going to Hampstead that night, on
account of violent fits which Miss Montague was pretended to be seized
with; for then immediately came into my head his vile attempt upon me in
this house; the revenge that my flight might too probably inspire him
with on that occasion, and because of the difficulty I made to forgive
him, and to be reconciled to him; his very looks wild and dreadful to me;
and the women of the house such as I had more reason than ever, even from
the pretended Lady Betty's hint, to be afraid of: all these crowding
together in my apprehensive mind, I fell into a kind of phrensy.

I have no remembrance how I was for this time it lasted: but I know that,
in my first agitations, I pulled off my head-dress, and tore my ruffles
in twenty tatters, and ran to find him out.

When a little recovered, I insisted upon the hint he had given me of
their coach. But the messenger, he said, had told him, that it was sent
to fetch a physician, lest his chariot sho