ow by Dorcas, desiring her to re-peruse it. And it
was not returned me, as I feared it would be. And that's a good sign,
I think.

I say I think, and I think; for this charming creature, entangled as I
am in my own inventions, puzzles me ten thousand times more than I her.

LETTER XXXI

MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
THURSDAY NOON, JUNE 22.

Let me perish if I know what to make either of myself or of this
surprising creature--now calm, now tempestuous.--But I know thou lovest
not anticipation any more than I.

At my repeated requests, she met me at six this morning.

She was ready dressed; for she had not her clothes off every since she
declared, that they never more should be off in this house. And
charmingly she looked, with all the disadvantages of a three-hours
violent stomach-ache--(for Dorcas told me that she had been really ill)--
no rest, and eyes red and swelled with weeping. Strange to me that those
charming fountains have not been so long ago exhausted! But she is a
woman. And I believe anatomists allow, that women have more watry heads
than men.

Well, my dearest creature, I hope you have now thoroughly considered of
the contents of Captain Tomlinson's letter. But as we are thus early
met, let me beseech you to make this my happy day.

She looked not favourably upon me. A cloud hung upon her brow at her
entrance: but as she was going to answer me, a still greater solemnity
took possession of her charming features.

Your air, and your countenance, my beloved creature, are not propitious
to me. Let me beg of you, before you speak, to forbear all further
recriminations: for already I have such a sense of my vileness to you,
that I know not how to bear the reproaches of my own mind.

I have been endeavouring, said she, since I am not permitted to avoid
you, to obtain a composure which I never more expected to see you in.
How long I may enjoy it, I cannot tell. But I hope I shall be enabled
to speak to you without that vehemence which I expressed yesterday, and
could not help it.*

* The Lady, in her minutes, says, 'I fear Dorcas is a false one. May I
not be able to prevail upon him to leave me at my liberty? Better to
try than to trust to her. If I cannot prevail, but must meet him and
my uncle, I hope I shall have fortitude enough to renounce him then.
But I would fain avoid qualifying with the wretch, or to give him an
expectation which I intend not to answer. If I am m