possible,
in my precarious situation with her, to think of performing
it.

In this situation; the women ready to assist; and, if I proceeded not,
as ready to ridicule me; what had I left me, but to pursue the concerted
scheme, and to seek a pretence to quarrel with her, in order to revoke my
promised permission, and to convince her that I would not be upbraided as
the most brutal of ravishers for nothing?

I had agreed with the women, that if I could not find a pretence in her
presence to begin my operations, the note should lie in my way, and I was
to pick it up, soon after her retiring from me. But I began to doubt at
near ten o'clock, (so earnest was she to leave me, suspecting my
over-warm behaviour to her, and eager grasping of her hand two or three
times, with eye-strings, as I felt, on the strain, while her eyes showed
uneasiness and apprehension,) that if she actually retired for the night,
it might be a chance whether it would be easy to come at her again. Loth,
therefore, to run such a risk, I stept out a little after ten, with intent
to alter the preconcerted disposition a little; saying I would attend her
again instantly. But as I returned I met her at the door, intending to
withdraw for the night. I could not persuade her to go back: nor had I
presence of mind (so full of complaisance as I was to her just before) to
stay her by force: so she slid through my hands into her own apartment. I
had nothing to do, therefore, but to let my former concert take place.

I should have promised (but care not for order of time, connection, or
any thing else) that, between eight and nine in the evening, another
servant of Lord M. on horseback came, to desire me to carry down with me
Dr. S., the old peer having been once (in extremis, as they judge he is
now) relieved and reprieved by him. I sent and engaged the doctor to
accompany me down: and am to call upon him by four this morning: or the
devil should have both my Lord and the Doctor, if I'd stir till I got all
made up.

Poke thy damn'd nose forward into the event, if thou wilt--Curse me if
thou shalt have it till its proper time and place. And too soon then.

She had hardly got into her chamber, but I found a little paper, as I was
going into mine, which I took up; and opening it, (for it was carefully
pinned in another paper,) what should it be but a promissory note, given
as a bribe, with a further promise of a diamond ring, to induce Dorcas to
favour her