asking foolish questions. "Darwin" is, of course, not his right name.
Because he came from South Africa and looked like a baboon, we called
him "Baboon." So let evolution evolve the name of "Darwin" for him in
these pages. As for the Old Bird, no other name could have suited him
so well. He was the craftiest old bird at successfully avoiding work
we had ever known, and yet he was one of the best liked men in the
Company. He was one of those men who are absolutely essential to a
mess because of his never-failing cheer and gaiety. He never did a
stroke of work that he could possibly "wangle" out of. A Scotchman by
birth, he was about thirty-eight years old and had lived all over the
world. He had a special fondness for China. Until he left "K" Company,
he was never known by any other name than that of "Old Bird."

There was one man, from another Company, who gave us the greatest
amusement during our Tank-mechanism Course. He was pathetically in
earnest, but appeared to have no brains at all. Sometimes, while
asking each other catch questions, we would put the most senseless
ones to him.

Darwin would say, "Look here, how is the radiator connected with the
differential?"

The poor fellow would ponder for a minute or two and then reply, "Oh!
through the magneto."

He naturally failed again and again to pass his tests, and was
returned to his old Corps.

Somehow we learned not to attempt to stand upright in our steel
prison. Before long, McKnutt had ceased his remarks about sardines in
a tin and announced, "Sure! there is plenty of room and to spare for a
dozen others here." The Old Bird no longer compared the atmosphere,
when we were all shut in tight, with the Black Hole of Calcutta. In a
word, we had succumbed to the "Willies," and would permit no man to
utter a word of criticism against them.

It is necessary here, perhaps, to explain why we always call our
machines "Willies." When the tanks were first being experimented
upon, they evolved two, a big and a little one. Standing together they
looked so ludicrous, that they were nicknamed "Big" and "Little
Willie." The name stuck; and now, no one in the Corps refers to his
machine in any other way.

A few days before Christmas, our tank course was finished, and the Old
Bird suggested a celebration. McKnutt led the cheering. Talbot had an
idea.

"Let's get a box-body and go over to Amiens and do our Christmas
shopping," he said.

A chorus of "Jove, that's great!