to find the jewel, if
possible, and I regret to say that it was possible. We found her
asleep on the kitchen table, and Bradley hadn't any more sense than
to try and wake her up. He succeeded too well. For the next ten
minutes she was the most wide-awake woman you ever saw, and she kept
us wide awake too. The minute she opened her eyes and saw us
standing before her, she sprang to her feet and made a rush at
Bradley, for which he was totally unprepared, the consequence of
which was that in an instant he found himself sitting in a very
undignified manner, for the head of the house, on the kitchen floor,
trying to collect his somewhat scattered faculties.

"When she had persuaded Bradley to take a seat, she turned to shower
her attentions on me. I jumped to one side, but she managed to grab
hold of my vest, and hence its buttonless condition. By this time
Bradley was on his feet again, and, having had the temerity to face
his jewel the second time, he again came off second best, losing one
of the button-holes of his collar in the melee. I rushed in from
behind, and flirtatiously, perhaps, tried to grab hold of her hands,
coming off the field minus a necktie, but plus that picturesque
scratch you see on my nose. Stopping a moment to count up my profit
and loss, I let Bradley make the next assault, which resulted in a
drawn battle, Bradley losing his watch and his temper, the jewel
losing her breath and her balance. So it went on for probably three
or four minutes longer, though we certainly acquired several years
of experience in those short minutes, until finally we managed to
conquer her. This done, we locked her up in a closet."

"Had she been at the cooking-sherry?" asked Bessie.

"We thought so at first, and Bradley sent for a policeman," said
Thaddeus "but when he came we found the poor creature too exhausted
to be moved, and in a very short while Mrs. Bradley decided that it
was a case for a doctor and not for a police-justice. So the doctor
was summoned, and we waited, dinnerless, in the dining-room for his
verdict, and finally it came. BRADLEY'S JEWEL WAS INSANE!"

"Insane!" echoed Bessie.

"Mad as a hatter," replied Thaddeus.

"Well, I declare!" said Bessie, thoughtfully. "But, Thaddeus, do
you know I am not surprised."

"Why, my dear?" he asked.

"Because, Teddy, she was too perfect to be in her right mind."

And Thaddeus, after thinking it all over, was inclined to believe
that Bessie