oth. At
any rate, she was engaged as waitress, and put in charge of the
first floor of the Perkins household.

"I fancy we've at last got a real treasure," said Mrs. Perkins.
"There's no nonsense about Jane--I think." The last two words were
added apologetically.

"Where did you get her?" asked Thaddeus. "At an Imbecility Office?"

"I don't quite know what you mean--an Imbecility Office?"

"Only my pet, private, and particular name for it, my dear. You
would speak of it as an Intelligence Office, no doubt," was the
reply. "My observation of the fruit of Intelligence Offices has
convinced me that they deal in Imbecility."

"Not quite," laughed Mrs. Perkins. "They look after Domestic
Vacancies."

"Well, they do it with a vengeance," said Perkins. "We've had more
vacancies in this house to do our cooking and our laundering and our
house-work generally than two able-bodied men could shake sticks at.
It seems to me that the domestic servant of to-day is fonder of
preoccupation than of occupation."

"Jane, I think, is different from the general run," said Mrs.
Perkins. "As I said, she has no nonsense about her."

"Is she--an--an ornament to the scene--pretty, and all that?" asked
Perkins.

"Quite the reverse," replied the little house-keeper. "She is as
plain as a--as a--"

"Say hedge-fence and be done with it," said Perkins. "I'm glad of
it. What's the use of providing a good dinner for your friends if
they are going to spend all their time looking at the waitress?
When I give a dinner it makes me tired to have the men afterwards
speak of the waitress rather than of the puree or the birds. If any
domestic is to dominate the repast at all it should be the cook."

"Service counts for a great deal, though, Ted," suggested Mrs.
Perkins.

"True," replied Thaddeus; "but on the whole, when I am starving,
give me a filet bearnaise served by a sailor, rather than an empty
plate brought in in style by a butler of illustrious lineage and
impressive manner." Then he added: "I hope she isn't too homely,
Bess--not a 'clock-stopper,' as the saying is. You don't want
people's appetites taken away when you've worked for hours on a menu
calculated to tickle the palates of your guests. Would her
homeliness--ah--efface itself, for instance, in the presence of a
culinary creation, or is it likely to overshadow everything with its
ineffaceable completeness?"

"I think she'll do," returned Mrs. Perkins; "especial