could avail
their old School-fellow, or France, or us; which it cannot much.

Chapter III.--CARNIVAL PHENOMENA IN WAR-TIME.

Readers were anticipating it, readers have no sympathy; but the sad fact
is, Britannic Majesty has NOT got out his sword; this second paroxysm of
his proves vain as the first did! Those laggard Dutch, dead to the Cause
of Liberty, it is they again. Just as the hour was striking, they--plump
down, in spite of magnanimous Stair, into their mud again; cannot be
hoisted by engineering. And, after all that filling and emptying of
water-casks, and pumping and puffing, and straining of every fibre for a
twelvemonth past, Britannic Majesty had to sit down again, panting in an
Olympian manner, with that expensive long sword of his still sticking in
the scabbard.

Tongue cannot tell what his poor little Majesty has suffered from those
Dutch,--checking one's noble rage, into mere zero, always; making of
one's own glorious Army a mere expensive Phantasm! Hanoverian, Hessian,
British: 40,000 fighters standing in harness, year after year, at
such cost; and not the killing of a French turkey to be had of them in
return. Patience, Olympian patience, withal! He cantons his troops in
the Netherlands Towns; many of the British about Ghent (who consider the
provisions, and customs, none of the best); [Letters of Officers,
from Ghent (_Westminster Journal,_ Oct. 23d, &c.).] his Hanoverians,
Hessians, farther northward, Hanover way;--and, greatly daring,
determines to try again, next Spring. Carteret himself shall go and
flagitate the Dutch. Patience; whip and hoist!--What a conclusion,
snorts the indignant British Public through its Gazetteers.

"Next year, yes, exclaims one indignant Editor: 'if talking will do
business, we shall no doubt perform wonders; for we have had as much
talking and puffing since February last, as during any ten years of the
late Administration' [_The Daily Post,_ December 31st (o.s.), 1742.]
[under poor Walpole, whom you could not enough condemn]! The Dutch?
exclaims another: 'If WE were a Free People [F-- P-- he puts it, joining
caution with his rage], QUOERE, Whether Holland would not, at this
juncture, come cap in hand, to sue for our protection and alliance;
instead of making us dance attendance at the Hague?' Yes, indeed;--and
then the CASE OF THE HANOVER FORCES (fear not, reader; I understand your
terror of locked-jaw, and will never mention said CASE again); but it is
singul