; and
if he had the least apprehensions of my being troublesome to him, I
begged he would put me in a posture to go back to my mother in
Virginia, from when he knew I came, and that would put an end to all
his fears on that account. I concluded, that if he would send me #50
more to facilitate my going away, I would send him back a general
release, and would promise never to disturb him more with any
importunities; unless it was to hear of the well-doing of the child,
whom, if I found my mother living and my circumstances able, I would
send for to come over to me, and take him also effectually off his
hands.

This was indeed all a cheat thus far, viz. that I had no intention to
go to Virginia, as the account of my former affairs there may convince
anybody of; but the business was to get this last #50 of him, if
possible, knowing well enough it would be the last penny I was ever to
expect.

However, the argument I used, namely, of giving him a general release,
and never troubling him any more, prevailed effectually with him, and
he sent me a bill for the money by a person who brought with him a
general release for me to sign, and which I frankly signed, and
received the money; and thus, though full sore against my will, a final
end was put to this affair.

And here I cannot but reflect upon the unhappy consequence of too great
freedoms between persons stated as we were, upon the pretence of
innocent intentions, love of friendship, and the like; for the flesh
has generally so great a share in those friendships, that is great odds
but inclination prevails at last over the most solemn resolutions; and
that vice breaks in at the breaches of decency, which really innocent
friendship ought to preserve with the greatest strictness. But I leave
the readers of these things to their own just reflections, which they
will be more able to make effectual than I, who so soon forgot myself,
and am therefore but a very indifferent monitor.

I was now a single person again, as I may call myself; I was loosed
from all the obligations either of wedlock or mistress-ship in the
world, except my husband the linen-draper, whom, I having not now heard
from in almost fifteen years, nobody could blame me for thinking myself
entirely freed from; seeing also he had at his going away told me, that
if I did not hear frequently from him, I should conclude he was dead,
and I might freely marry again to whom I pleased.

I now began to cast up my