of the deck when it
comes to Section 1030; but that's not the whole story; that's not the
street. What's Congress thinks is one thing, and Congress has been
known to change its mind. The REAL turf-struggle is out there in the
streets where it's happening. If you're a local street-cop with a
computer problem, the Secret Service wants you to know where you can
find the real expertise. While the Bureau crowd are off having their
favorite shoes polished--(wing-tips)--and making derisive fun of the
Service's favorite shoes--("pansy-ass tassels")--the tassel-toting
Secret Service has a crew of ready-and-able hacker-trackers installed
in the capital of every state in the Union. Need advice? They'll give
you advice, or at least point you in the right direction. Need
training? They can see to that, too.

If you're a local cop and you call in the FBI, the FBI (as is widely
and slanderously rumored) will order you around like a coolie, take all
the credit for your busts, and mop up every possible scrap of reflected
glory. The Secret Service, on the other hand, doesn't brag a lot.
They're the quiet types. VERY quiet. Very cool. Efficient.
High-tech. Mirrorshades, icy stares, radio ear-plugs, an Uzi
machine-pistol tucked somewhere in that well-cut jacket. American
samurai, sworn to give their lives to protect our President. "The
granite agents." Trained in martial arts, absolutely fearless. Every
single one of 'em has a top-secret security clearance. Something goes
a little wrong, you're not gonna hear any whining and moaning and
political buck-passing out of these guys.

The facade of the granite agent is not, of course, the reality. Secret
Service agents are human beings. And the real glory in Service work is
not in battling computer crime--not yet, anyway--but in protecting the
President. The real glamour of Secret Service work is in the White
House Detail. If you're at the President's side, then the kids and the
wife see you on television; you rub shoulders with the most powerful
people in the world. That's the real heart of Service work, the number
one priority. More than one computer investigation has stopped dead in
the water when Service agents vanished at the President's need.

There's romance in the work of the Service. The intimate access to
circles of great power; the esprit-de-corps of a highly trained and
disciplined elite; the high responsibility of defending the Chief
Executive; the fulfill