heir fine manners; and, throth, my blood began to rise, and says I,
'By my sowl, if it was you was in disthress,' says I, 'and if it was to
ould Ireland you kem, it's not only the gridiron they'd give you if you
ax'd it, but something to put an it too, and a dhrop of dhrink into the
bargain, and cead mille failte.'
"Well, the word cead mille failte seemed to stchreck his heart, and the
ould chap cocked his ear, and so I thought I'd give him another offer, and
make him sinsible at last; and so says I, wanst more, quite slow, that he
might undherstand--'Parly--voo--frongsay, munseer?'
"'We, munseer,' says he.
"'Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'and bad scran to you.'
"Well, bad win' to the bit of it he'd gi' me, and the ould chap begins
bowin' and scrapin', and said something or other about a long tongs.
"'Phoo!--the devil sweep yourself and tongs,' says I, 'I don't want a
tongs at all at all; but can't you listen to raison,' says I--'Parly-voo
frongsay?'
"We, munseer.'
"'Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'and howld your prate.'
"Well, what would you think but he shook his owld noddle, as much as to
say he wouldn't; and so says I, 'Bad cess to the likes o' that I ever
seen--throth if you were in my country, it's not that-a-way they'd use
you; the curse o' the crows on you, you ould sinner,' says I; 'the divil a
longer I'll darken your dure.'
"So he seen I was vexed, and I thought, as I was turnin' away, I seen him
begin to relint, and that his conscience throubled him; and says I,
turnin' back, 'Well, I'll give you one chance more--you owld thief--are
you a Chrishthan at all at all?--are you a furriner,' says I, 'that all
the world calls so p'lite? Bad luck to you, do you undherstand your own
language?--Parly-voo frongsay?' says I.
"'We, munseer,' says he.
"'Then, thundher and turf,' says I, 'will you lind me the loan of a
gridiron?'
"Well, sir, the divil resave the bit of it he'd gi' me--and so with that,
'The curse o' the hungry on you, you owld negardly villain,' says I; 'the
back o' my hand and the sowl o' my foot to you; that you may want a
gridiron yourself yet,' says I; 'and wherever I go, high and low, rich and
poor, shall hear o' you,' says I; and with that I lift them there, sir,
and kem away--and in throth it's often since that I thought that it was
remarkable."
TRICKS THAT WORDS MAY BE MADE TO PLAY.
Odd Jobs for Unemployed Minds in the Arrangement o
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