or if any altercation
arose upon the subject-matter in hand, he was sure to throw in some good
reason, either from former service--general good conduct--or the
delinquent's "wife and childher," that always turned the scale.

But I am digressing. On such merry meetings as I have alluded to, the
master, after making certain "approaches," as a military man would say, as
the preparatory steps in laying siege to some extravaganza of his servant,
might, perchance, assail Pat thus:

"By the by, Sir John" (addressing a distinguished guest), "Pat has a very
curious story, which something you told me to-day reminds me of. You
remember, Pat" (turning to the man, evidently pleased at the notice paid
to himself)--"you remember that queer adventure you had in France?"

"Throth I do, sir," grins forth Pat.

"What!" exclaims Sir John, in feigned surprise. "Was Pat ever in France?"

"Indeed he was," cries mine host; and Pat adds, "Ay, and farther, plase
your honor."

"I assure you, Sir John," continues mine host, "Pat told me a story once
that surprised me very much, respecting the ignorance of the French."

"Indeed!" said the baronet. "Really, I always supposed the French to be a
most accomplished people."

"Throth, then, they're not, sir," interrupts Pat.

"Oh, by no means," adds mine host, shaking his head emphatically.

"I believe, Pat, 'twas when you were crossing the Atlantic?" says the
master, turning to Pat with a seductive air, and leading into the "full
and true account"--(for Pat had thought fit to visit North Amerikay, for
"a raison he had," in the autumn of the year ninety-eight).

"Yes, sir," says Pat, "the broad Atlantic," a favorite phrase of his,
which he gave with a brogue as broad almost as the Atlantic itself.

"It was the time I was lost in crassin' the broad Atlantic, comin' home,"
began Pat, decoyed into the recital; "whin the winds began to blow, and
the sae to rowl, that you'd think the Colleen Dhas (that was her name)
would not have a mast left.

"Well, sure enough, the masts went by the board, at last, and the pumps
was choaked (divil choak them for that same), and av coorse the wather
gained an us, and throth, to be filled with water is neither good for man
nor baste; and she was sinkin' fast, settlin' down, as the sailors calls
it, and faith I never was good at settlin' down in my life, and I liked it
then less nor ever. Accordingly we prepared for the worst, and put out the
boat, and got a sac