ave to quit.
At tending cows the undersigned
Might make an awful hit.
_Chacun son metier:_
_Les vaches bien gardees._

AN ORIENTAL APOLOGY

When the hour was come Prince Chun arose,
And balanced a shoestring on his nose.
"From this some notion you will get,"
Said he, "of China's deep regret."

Now balancing upon his ear
A stein of foaming lager beer,
"This attitude," said he, "reveals
How very sorry China feels."

Then spinning top-like on his cue,
"I can't begin to tell to you
The deep remorse we suffer for
The death of your Ambassador."

Next, placing on his cue a plate,
He said, as it 'gan to gyrate:
"Nothing that's happened in his reign
Has caused my Emperor so much pain."

Upon his back he did declare,
While juggling five balls in the air,
"This attitude--the humblest yet--
Expresses personal regret."

Last, spreading out a deck of cards--
"Accept my Emperor's regards.
As our intentions were well meant,
Pray overlook the incident."

THE DAY OF THE COMET

(_May 18, 1910._)

Here it is--Eighteenth of May!
Dawneth now the fatal day
When we take the awful veil
Of the fearsome comet's tail.
Vale, Earth!

What will happen, heaven knows;
We can't even guess, suppose,
Hazard, speculate, surmise,
Hint, conjecture, theorize,
Or divine.

Will we merely drill a hole
Through the trailing aureole?
Or will the prediction dire
Of a world destroyed by fire
Be fulfilled?

Shall we crook our knees and pray
Counting this the Judgment Day?
Or preserve a cosmic ca'm,
Caring not a cosmic dam
What may come?

There's the rub. If we but knew
We should know just what to do.
Yes is just as good as No
To all questions. Here we go!--
Hang on tight!

THE MORNING AFTER

(_May 19, 1910._)

Here we are, friends, whole and hale
In or through the comet's tail;
And as far as we can say,
Matters are about as they
Were before.

Everything is much the same
As before the comet came.
Grasses grow and waters run--
Nothing new beneath the sun--
Same old sphere.

Life is drab or life is gay,
Thorny path or primrose way;
All is common, a