O.IVCVNDIORES.QVAM.PRIS
CA.EXEMPLA

SCRIBEBAM.HELNGON
[=XVII].KAL.DEC

A NOTE FROM MR. FLACCUS

(_Concerning the verses that follow._)

Dear B. L. T.:

You know my "pomes." Well, old man, I was pretty young when I got them
out of my system, and they seem rather raw to me now--I'm getting along,
you know; so I've been thinking that I'd do 'em over again, file 'em
down, as we used to say. Enclosed is the result of my labors.

I presume you are wondering why I have done them into United States; but
you know perfectly well that a poet as much alive as I am to-day must
not only keep up with the procession, but choose a thought-vehicle that
has good springs to it--"beaucoup resiliency," I s'pose you'd call it.

I hope you will like these new lines of mine better than their
prototypes.

Yours regardfully,
Q. H. F.

_Helngon, November 15._

I

TO ARISTIUS FUSCUS

"_Integer vitae scelerisque purus._"

Fuscus, old scout, if a guy's on the level
That's all the arsenal he'll have to tote;
Up to St. Peter or down to the Devil,
No need to carry a gun in his coat.

Prowling around, as you know is my habit,
I met a wolf in the forest, and he
Beat it for Wolfville and ran like a rabbit.
(He was some wolf, too, receive it from me.)

Where I may happen to camp is no matter,--
Paris, Chicago, Ostend or St. Joe,--
Like the old dame in the nursery patter
I shall make music wherever I go.

Drop me in Dawson or chuck me in Cadiz,
Dump me in Kansas or plant me in Rome,--
I shall keep on making love to the ladies:
Where there's a skirt is my notion of home.

II

DUETTO

"_Donec gratus eram._"

HORACE:

What time my Lydia owned me lord
No Persian king had much on Horace;
And when you blew my bed and board
I was some sad, believe me, Mawruss.

LYDIA:

What time you loved no other She,
Before this Chloe person signed you,
I flourished like a green bay tree;
Now I'm the Girl You Left Behind You.

HORACE:

This Chloe dame that takes my eye
Has so peculiar an allurance
I would not hesitate to die
If she could cop my life insurance.

LYDIA:

Well, as for that, I know a gent
With whom it's some deligh