ld not have mattered so greatly, had
not the proprietor of the hotel, a pompous gentleman (X. afterwards
learnt he was President of the Race Club), stood sentry over the door,
whence issued the rows of servants with the dishes, narrowly watching
what each guest partook of and detecting with an eagle eye the uneatable
scraps which the defeated diner had striven to conceal beneath his knife
and fork. The most amusing thing during the progress of the meal was the
conversation of an elderly English couple, who, in truly British tourist
fashion seemed to imagine they were alone, and the people round them but
figures of wax who could neither hear nor be affected by anything they
might say. "Oh, how they soak the fish in grease," the lady would
exclaim; or, "This is good meat, but ruined, yes, positively ruined in
the cooking; look, my dear, it is (doubtfully, and sniffing at her
plate), it is absolutely _soaked_ in grease--oh, what a pity, how can
you eat it, dear--but you would eat anything," the speaker continued
garrulously, "for yesterday you ate the fish on board that steamer when
it was almost rotten--I smelt it from my cabin before we came out, etc,"
and much more in the same strain. To all these domestic remarks, her
companion vouchsafed no reply, but continued his dinner as though
accustomed to such an accompaniment.

It was as much as X. could do to refrain from laughing, and, fearful of
hurting the feelings of others himself, he would take another helping
when the proprietor was looking, and felt uncommonly "hot" at the
conduct of his compatriot. However, worse was to come, for at the end of
dinner, when the "boys" brought coffee made in the way usual to the
country--a few drops of cold essence of coffee at the bottom of the
cups, which had to be filled up with boiling milk or water--the lady
from England could not contain her indignation, but loudly scolded the
waiter for such a stingy way of putting so little in the cup, since
"coffee should surely be cheap in Java," and then proceeded to empty the
contents of all the cups into two, one for herself and one for her
husband, while saying with a smile "we like a cup of coffee, not a
drop." Then while she sipped her full cup like one on whom there
unwillingly dawns the unpleasant consciousness of having made a mistake,
the lady further addressed the waiter and asked, "Do they always drink
cold coffee in Java?" The waiter, who could only stand passive while
this calm