inch of the Common Cause.

* * * * *

THE DIVINER.

[Illustration: Reporter studying a Member's expression as he leaves the
house after a Secret Session.]

* * * * *

DRESS ECONOMY AND THE CLAIMS OF ART.

[To Lord SPENCER on seeing his portrait by Mr. ORPEN at the Royal
Academy.]

Here, at the Press View, ere the opening day
Admits the public on receipt of pay
And all the gallery like a murmurous shell hums,
I stand before your picture, awed and mute,
In reverent worship and an old, old suit
Of baggy ante-bellums.

For, when Britannia first in wrath arose,
I took a vow:--So long as these poor clo's
Together, though reduced to just a mesh, hold,
Never will I, till Victory's trump rings clear
(Save when I purchase military gear),
Cross any tailor's threshold.

Yet, gazing on the garb you figure in,
Shining and perfect as a new-born pin--
The frock-coat built to dazzle gods and men, Sir,
The virgin tie, the collar passing tall,
The flawless crease of trousers which recall
The prime of BOBBY SPENCER--

I hesitate to blame your lack of thrift;
I would not have your sacred feelings biffed
By harsh reflections from a patriot's war-pen;
Those rich externals which arrest the view
Were but adopted as essential to
The scheme of Mr. ORPEN.

Such was the sacrifice you made to Art!
And there are other portraits, very smart--
Sitters who must have borne the same hard trial;
Who waived their loyal taste for cheap attire
And went, superbly tailored, through the fire
Of noble self-denial.

O. S.

* * * * *

UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER.

No. XXXVIII.

(_From General VON FALKENHAYN._)

ALMIGHTIEST WAR-LORD,--See how the Fates make sport with us! We began in
February to make our great attack upon the fortified position at Verdun.
In ten days, so we thought, our massed artillery, firing a ceaseless
torrent of projectiles, would have shattered beyond recovery the lines
of the enemy, and our irresistible infantry, breaking through like a
flood, would have swept away all opposition, and would without doubt
have taken the fortress and cleared our way to Paris and to decisive
victory. So we believed, having, as it appeared, every reason for our
belief, and having taken into account in our careful planning all the
chances and vic