e Devil, be ready to
serve them; yea, if they call for a thousand, let them be satisfied."
When these were gone, lo! a giant of a devil vociferated to have the bar
cleared, and flung down a man whom he bore. "What have you brought
there?" said Lucifer. "A tavern-keeper," replied the other. "What,"
said the king, "_one_ tavern-keeper! Why they are in the habit of coming
to the tune of five or six thousand. Have you not been out, sirrah, for
ten years, and yet you bring us but one? and he one who has done us much
more service in the world than yourself, you lazy, stinking dog!" "You
are too ready to condemn me, before listening to me," he replied. "This
fellow only was given to my charge, and, behold! I am clear of him. But
still I have sent to you from his house, many a worthless chap, after
guzzling down the maintenance of his family; many a dicer and
card-player; many a genteel swearer; many a pleasant, good kind of belly
god; and many a careless servant." "Well," said the Arch Fiend, "though
the tavern-keeper has merited to be amongst the flatterers below us, take
him at present to his brethren, in the cell of the liquid murderers; to
the thousands of apothecaries and poisoners, who are there for making
drink to kill their customers--boil him well for not having brewed better
ale." "With your permission," said the tavern-keeper shivering, "I have
deserved no such treatment. Must not every trade live?" "And could you
not live," said the Fiend, "without encouraging dissipation and gaming,
uncleanness, drunkenness, oaths, quarrels, slander and lies? and would
you, hell-hound, live at present better than ourselves! Pray what evil
have we here that you had not at home, the punishment solely excepted?
And having told you this bitter truth, I will add, that the infernal heat
and cold were not unknown to you either.

"Did you not see sparks of our fire in the tongues of the swearers and of
the scolds, when seeking to get their husbands home? Was there not
plenty of the unquenchable fire in the mouth of the drunkard, and in the
eyes of the brawler? And could you not perceive something of the
infernal cold in the lovingness of the spendthrift, and in your own
civility to your customers, whilst any thing remained with them--in the
drollery of the buffoons, in the praise of the envious and the backbiter,
in the promises of the wanton, or in the shanks of the good companions
freezing beneath your tables? Art thou un