ef it was to come I know I'd be the first one
run over. It's bad enough to have bulls in our fields without turnin'
steam-ingines loose on us. Jest one look at them cow-ketchers is enough
to frustrate a person till he'd stand stock still an' wait to be run
over--jest like poor crazy Mary done down here to Cedar Springs.

"They say crazy Mary looked that headlight full in the face, jes' the
same ez a bird looks at a snake, till the thing caught her, an' when the
long freight train had passed over her she didn't have a single remain,
not a one, though I always thought they might've gethered up enough to
give her a funeral. When I die I intend to have a funeral, even if I'm
drownded at sea. They can stand on the sho'e, an' I'll be jest ez likely
to know it ez them thet lay in view lookin' so ca'm. I've done give him
my orders, though they ain't much danger o' me dyin' at sea, not ef we
stay in Simpkinsville.

"How much are them willer rockers, Mr. Lawson? I declare that one favors
my old man ez it sets there, even without him in it. Nine dollars?
That's a good deal for a pants'-tearin' chair, seems to me, which them
willers are, the last one of 'em, an' I'm a mighty poor hand to darn.
Jest let me lay my stitches in colors, in the shape of a flower, an' I
can darn ez well ez the next one, but I do despise to fill up holes jest
to be a-fillin'. Yes, ez you say, them silver-mounted brier-wood pipes
is mighty purty, but he smokes so much ez it is, I don't know ez I want
to encourage him. Besides, it seems a waste o' money to buy a Christmus
gif' thet a person has to lay aside when company comes in, an' a
silver-mounted pipe ain't no politer to smoke in the presence o' ladies
than a corncob is. An' ez for when we're by ourselves--shucks.

"Ef you don't mind, Mr. Lawson, I'll stroll around through the sto'e
an' see what you've got while you wait on some o' them thet know their
own minds. I know mine well enough. _What I want_ is _that swingin'
ice-pitcher_, an' my judgment tells me thet they ain't a more suitable
present in yo' sto'e for a settled man thet has built hisself a
residence an' furnished it complete the way _he_ has, but of co'se
'twouldn't never do. I always think how I'd enjoy it when the minister
called. I wonder what Mr. Lawson thinks o' me back here a-talkin' to
myself. I always like to talk about the things I'm buyin'. That's a
mighty fine saddle-blanket, indeed it is. He was talkin' about a new
saddle-blank