mine, neither, but one I borry from Aunt Jane Peters. I
don't wonder y' all laugh. Aunt Jane's foot is a yard long ef it's a'
inch, but I'll find it stuffed to-morrer mornin', even ef the guyaskutus
has to be chained to the mantel. An' it'll take me a good hour to empty
it, for he always puts a lot o' devilment in it, an' I give him a
beatin' over the head every nonsensical thing I find in it. We have a
heap o' fun over it, though.

"He don't seem to know I'm grown, an' I know I don't know he's old.

"Listen to me runnin' on, an' you all nearly done yo' shoppin'. Which do
you think would be the nicest to give him, Mr. Lawson--this silver
card-basket, or that Cupid vase, or--?

"Y' all needn't to wink. I seen you, Mis' Blakes. Ef I was to pick out a
half dozen socks for him like them you're a-buyin' for Mr. Blakes, how
much fun do you suppose we'd have out of it? Not much. I'd jest ez lief
'twasn't Christmus--an' so would he--though they do say his first wife
give him a bolt o' domestic once-t for Christmus, an' made it up into
night-shirts an' things for him du'in' the year. Think of it. No, I'm
a-goin' to git him somethin' thet's got some git-up to it, an'--an'
it'll be either--that--Cupid vase--or--lordy, Mr. Lawson, don't fetch
out that swingin' ice-pitcher. I glimpsed it quick ez I come in the
door, an', says I, 'Get thee behind me, Satan,' an' turned my back on it
immejiate.

"But of co'se I ca'culated to git you to fetch it out jest for me to
look at, after I'd selected his present. Ain't it a beauty? Seems to me
they couldn't be a more suitable present for a man--ef he didn't hate
'em so. No, Mis' Blakes, it ain't only thet he don't never drink
ice-water. I wouldn't mind a little thing like that.

"You ricollec' ol' Mis' Meredy, she used to preside over one thet they
had, an' somehow he taken a distaste to her an' to ice-pitchers along
with her, an' he don't never lose a chance to express his disgust. When
them new folks was in town last year projec'in' about the railroad, he
says to me, 'I hope they won't stay, they'd never suit Simpkinsville on
earth. They're the regular swingin' ice-pitcher sort. Git folks like
that in town an' it wouldn't be no time befo' they'd start a-chargin'
pew rent in our churches.' We was both glad when they give out thet they
wasn't a-goin' to build the road. They say railroads is mighty
corrupting an' me, with my sick headaches, an' a' ingine whistle in
town, no indeed! Besides,