s, when he would hold me in his arms with his
face against mine and I felt that nothing worse could happen to me, I
used to keep wondering all the time what Anthony Cardew would think of
me when he knew.

The thought made me desperate. I could have slit my nose and chin,
defaced myself like St. Ursula and her maidens, so that I should cease
to be desirable to Richard Dawson. But there were my grandparents, and
the disgrace which I must buy back for them by giving myself.

Then one day, being in great misery, it occurred to me that I would
write a letter to Anthony Cardew. I was quite sure that I should be dead
before he received it, for I knew I should not live long with Richard
Dawson as his wife, if indeed I were not saved before that. I was glad
to think that I was growing thin; that I was languid on the least
exertion, and had no appetite for my food. I hoped that God would be
merciful to me, and that I should just save them and die. And presently
Theobald would come home to them and they would be happy.

And so I thought that I would write a letter to Anthony Cardew, so that
when I was dead he would understand and be sorry for me. And I sat down
and wrote it. For I could not bear that he should think me unworthy and
shameful, seeing that I loved him with all my heart and soul.

CHAPTER XXVII

BROSNA

I made several attempts at the letter, and discarded them all. And at
last, lest I should be interrupted and the letter never be written, I
wrote in a great hurry.

"Dear Captain Cardew,

"I hope this letter will reach you safely, so that in the days to
come you will not misjudge me. You wrote to me that you were giving
me up to my cousin. That you could not do, for I loved only you,
and did from the hour I first laid eyes on you, and shall for ever.
But, loving you, I am going to marry Richard Dawson, the
money-lender's son. And I must tell you, lest you should misjudge
me, and all women for my sake, that I shall marry him most
unwillingly. I do it because Garret Dawson holds a secret of ours
which only the sacrifice of myself can buy back. I owe so much to
the kind love which has never let me miss the love of father and
mother. But I am sure I shall not live long. You should not have
gone away and left me.

"Yours always,
"BAWN.