onger, if it should be so ordered; and if otherwise, I am
willing and glad to die now. I leave myself entirely in the hands of
God, to be disposed of according to his holy will."

The next day some one mentioned in his presence, that the native
Christians were greatly opposed to the voyage, and that many other
persons had a similar feeling with regard to it I thought he seemed
troubled; and after the visitor had withdrawn, I inquired if he still
felt as when he conversed with me the night previous. He replied, "Oh
yes; that was no evanescent feeling. It has been with me, to a greater
or less extent, for years, and will be with me, I trust, to the end. I
am ready to go _to-day_--if it should be the will of God, this very
hour; but I am not _anxious_ to die--at least when I am not beside
myself with pain."

"Then why are you so desirous to go to sea? I should think it would be a
matter of indifference to you." "No," he answered quietly, "my judgment
tells me it would be wrong not to go--the doctor says _criminal_. I
shall certainly die here--if I go away, I may possibly recover. There is
no question with regard to duty in such a case; and I do not like to see
any hesitation, even though it springs from affection."

He several times spoke of a burial at sea, and always as though the
prospect were agreeable. It brought, he said, a sense of freedom and
expansion and seemed far pleasanter than the confined, dark, narrow
grave, to which he had committed so many that he loved. And he added,
that although his burial-place was a matter of no real importance, yet
he believed it was not in human nature to be altogether without a
choice.

I have already given you an account of the embarkation, of my visits to
him while the vessel remained in the river, and of our last sad, silent
parting; and Mr. Ranney has finished the picture. You will find in this
closing part, some dark shadows, that will give you pain; but you must
remember that his present felicity is enhanced by those very sufferings,
and we should regret nothing that serves to brighten his crown in glory.
I ought also to add, that I have gained pleasanter impressions in
conversation with Mr. R. than from his written account; but it would be
difficult to convey them to you; and, as he whom they concern was
accustomed to say of similar things, "you will learn it all in heaven."

During the last hour of your sainted brother's life, Mr. Ranney bent
over him and held his han