to show his
ill-natured neighbors that, notwithstanding their unfriendly remarks,
he knew "what it was to be dacent," as well as his betters; and Katty
seconded him in his resolution, from her profound veneration for the
clargy. Every preparation was accordingly entered into, and every plan
adopted that could possibly be twisted into a capability of contributing
to the entertainment of Fathers Philemy and Con.

One of those large, round, stercoraceous nosegays that, like many other
wholesome plants, make up by odor what is wanting in floral beauty, and
which lay rather too contagious as Phaddhy expressed it, to the door of
his house, was transplanted by about half a dozen laborers, and as many
barrows, in the course of a day or two, to a bed some yards distant from
the spot of its first growth; because, without any reference whatever to
the nasal sense, it was considered that it might be rather an
eye-sore to their Reverences, on approaching the door. Several concave
inequalities, which constant attrition had worn in the earthen floor of
the kitchen, were filled up with blue clay, brought on a cart from
the bank of a neighboring river, for the purpose. The dresser, chairs,
tables, I pots, and pans, all underwent a rigor of discipline, as if
some remarkable event was about to occur; nothing less, it must be
supposed than a complete, domestic revolution, and a new state of
things. Phaddhy himself cut two or three large furze bushes, and,
sticking them on the end of a pitchfork, attempted to sweep down the
chimney. For this purpose he mounted on the back of a chair, that he
might be able to reach the top with more ease; but, in order that his
footing might be firm, he made one of the servant-men sit upon the
chair, to keep it steady during the operation. Unfortunately, however,
it so happened that this man was needed to assist in removing a
meal-chest to another part of the house; this was under Katty's
superintendence, who, seeing the fellow sit rather more at his ease than
she thought the hurry and importance of the occasion permitted, called
him, with a little of her usual sharpness and energy, to assist in
removing the chest. For some reason or other, which it is not necessary
to mention here, the fellow bounced from his seat, in obedience to the
shrill tones of Katty, and the next moment Phaddhy (who was in a state
of abstraction in the chimney, and totally unconscious of what was going
forward below) made a descent