* * *

[Illustration: SYMPATHETIC EGOISM OF GENIUS.

(_A Study._)

"DON'T RUN AWAY YET, OLD MAN! IT'S QUITE EARLY, AND I WANT TO HEAR ALL
ABOUT YOUR ACADEMY PICTURE, WHICH I'M TOLD IS SPLENDID."

[_Proceeds to describe his_ own _at great length, and then
suddenly finds out how late it is, and bolts!_]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, Jan. 26._--PLUNKET undoubtedly the most
successful Commissioner of Works of recent times. A little coolness
sprung up between him and CAVENDISH BENTINCK about those staircases
in Westminster Hall. But _chacun a son_ idea of a staircase. PLUNKET
quite as likely to be right as C.B. Always doing something to improve
arrangements of House. Does it quietly, too; Members know nothing
about it till they come down and find new Smoking-room, fresh
arrangements of lights, new rooms for Ministers, and occasionally a
priceless old table adorning Tea-room. Various accounts of its origin.
Some say Magna Charta signed on it. Others fixing earlier date and
attracted by the initials "W.R." clearly carved on left leg, affirm
that it is the very table on which WILLIAM REX took his five o'clock
tea after Battle of Hastings.

[Illustration: "Dear me!"]

Latest surprise prepared by First Commissioner is illumination of
entrance to House from Lobby, cunningly effected by electric lights
set within recesses of arch. SCHNAD-HORST, revisiting House after
long interval, astonished at this. "Making things very comfortable in
anticipation of our coming in," he says, smiling sweetly.

Later came upon NICHOLAS WOODS; found him standing in attitude of
patient and intelligent expectation. "What are you waiting there for?"
I asked. "Why don't you come in and hear SWINBURNE make one or two
speeches on Tithes Bill?"

"Well--er--fact is," said NICHOLAS, steadfastly keeping his eyes
on archway, "WILFRID LAWSON told me that if I was here about eleven
o'clock I would see PLUNKET and the ATTORNEY-GENERAL come out under
the archway dancing a _pas de deux_. Couldn't make out when I arrived
what the illumination was for; asked LAWSON. 'Oh' says he, 'it's the
First Commissioner's reminiscence of one of the alcoves at Vauxhall
Gardens.' Then he told me about PLUNKET and WEBSTER. Thought I'd like
to see it. Do you think it's all right?"

"Well," I said, "ALBERT ROLLIT _did_ tell me something abo