The honest man for letters famed,
The while he pocketed her gold;
"Of what'?--if I may be so bold."
Fresh storms of tears the lady shed:
"I stabbed him fifty times," she said.

AN INSCRIPTION

FOR A STATUE OF NAPOLEON, AT WEST POINT.

A famous conqueror, in battle brave,
Who robbed the cradle to supply the grave.
His reign laid quantities of human dust:
He fell upon the just and the unjust.

A PICKBRAIN.

What! imitate me, friend? Suppose that you
With agony and difficulty do
What I do easily--what then? You've got
A style I heartily wish _I_ had not.
If I from lack of sense and you from choice
Grieve the judicious and the unwise rejoice,
No equal censure our deserts will suit--
We both are fools, but you're an ape to boot!

CONVALESCENT.

"By good men's prayers see Grant restored!"
Shouts Talmage, pious creature!
Yes, God, by supplication bored
From every droning preacher,
Exclaimed: "So be it, tiresome crew--
But I've a crow to pick with _you_."

THE NAVAL CONSTRUCTOR.

He looked upon the ships as they
All idly lay at anchor,
Their sides with gorgeous workmen gay--
The riveter and planker--

Republicans and Democrats,
Statesmen and politicians.
He saw the swarm of prudent rats
Swimming for land positions.

He marked each "belted cruiser" fine,
Her poddy life-belts floating
In tether where the hungry brine
Impinged upon her coating.

He noted with a proud regard,
As any of his class would,
The poplar mast and poplar yard
Above the hull of bass-wood.

He saw the Eastlake frigate tall,
With quaintly carven gable,
Hip-roof and dormer-window--all
With ivy formidable.

In short, he saw our country's hope
In best of all conditions--
Equipped, to the last spar and rope,
By working politicians.

He boarded then the noblest ship
And from the harbor glided.
"Adieu, adieu!" fell from his lip.
Verdict: "He suicided."

1881.

DETECTED.

In Congress once great Mowther shone,
Debating weighty matters;
Now into an asylum thrown,
He vacuously chatters.

If in that legislative hall
His wisdom still he 'd vented,
It never had been known at all
That Mowther was demented.

BIMETALISM.

Ben Bulger was a silver man,
Though not a mine had he:
He thought it were a n