ia.

P.S.--The Home Office has replied authorising Maria to embark at Ryde
and land at Portsmouth. This is like telling a Londoner to embark at
Hull and land at Bristol on his way to Windsor. I have telegraphed.

_Later._--The Home Office permits Maria to embark at Totland and land at
Lymington. All is at last well.

R. C. L.

* * * * *

Extract from "Notes from an Alsatian Valley" in _Chambers' Journal_:--

"As a last word about this charming country, may I point out its
advantages as a holiday playground? It offers attractions of many
kinds to the sportsman.... The climate ... remains singularly warm
right up to the end of October."

Rather _too_ hot a playground for holiday-makers just now.

Illustration: THE COMING OF THE COSSACKS. WILHELM II. "WHAT IS THIS
DISTANT RUMBLING THAT I HEAR? DOUBTLESS THE PLAUDITS OF MY PEOPLE!"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Zealous Policeman (on German Spy duty, having got
motorist's name and address, etc., and received, in answer to his
further question, "And is this lady your wife?" a torrent of oaths very
much in the vernacular)._ "OH! PASS ALONG; YOU'RE A BRITISHER ALL
RIGHT."

* * * * *

THE NEW NEWS.

While cordially endorsing all the deserved tributes that have lately
been paid to the tact and loyalty of our daily Press, we venture to
express a hope that the practice of printing every kind of contradictory
war report will not become of universal application to other forms of
intelligence.

Imagine, for example, being confronted with this kind of thing in the
Cricket specials:--

KENT _v._ LANCASHIRE.

THE GREAT MATCH BEGUN.

A telegram from Canterbury, dated 11 A.M., Aug 18th, states that the
great match has actually begun. No details are given.

AMAZING LANCASTRIAN VICTORY.

Rumour's Agency learns that the resistance of Kent has everywhere been
entirely overcome; no fewer than forty-three of the home side have been
dismissed for sixteen runs. Twenty-nine wickets fell before lunch.

_Maidstone, Aug. 19. [Delayed in transmission]_.--The team has arrived
in Canterbury. Captain TROUGHTON, in a stirring address, pointed out
that hostilities had been forced upon the county, which however would
not be found unprepared. The greatest enthusiasm prevails among the
team, who are in capital health. WOOLLEY especially was never in better
form.

STARTLING REPO