eather, suitable for personal adornment,
will be presented to all customers.

Take no notice whatever of any warnings in the newspapers not to buy
largely. Think of yourselves. It is only you who matter. Buy now; buy
quantities.

* * * * *

From the regulations governing special constables:--

"A special constable guilty of misconduct may be suspended from
duty, and, if so suspended, shall forthwith give up his warrant
card, truncheon, armlet, and whistle to the police officer
suspending him."

What tune must he whistle to him?

* * * * *

"Admiral Jellicoe has a reputation for thoroughness in the naval
service, but a story which shows his kindly nature was told to me
to-day (says 'F.' in the 'Citizen'). A defence boom was being
constructed at Sheerness, and the admiral was dissatisfied with it.
He told the officer in command of some defects, and said it was not
so good as the boom at Portsmouth."

We feel sure there must be even better stories about him than this.

* * * * *

"THEY ALSO SERVE."

Jeremy threw away the stump of his after-dinner cigar and began to light
another one.

"Where's the economy of giving up smoking when you've got lots of cigars
in the house?" he asked.

"Oh, Jeremy," said his wife, "who says you ought to?"

"The Vicar. He only smokes one non-throat cigarette a day himself. I
told him he ought to give that up, but he said it was different. I say,
it will want rather a large soldier for that shirt, won't it?" He sat on
the arm of his wife's chair and began to play with the sleeve.

"Jeremy, can't you find something to do?"

"Yes." He went out and returned with his golf clubs, which he began to
polish lovingly. "I think I shall have a round to-morrow. If FRANCIS
DRAKE played bowls when the Spanish Fleet was in sight, I don't see why
Jeremy Smith shouldn't play golf when the German Fleet is out of sight."

"I thought you said you weren't going to till the war was over?"

"I don't see why I shouldn't. Golf keeps us fit, and it is the duty of
every Englishman to be fit just now."

"But you really play golf because you like it."

Jeremy looked up at her in surprise.

"Really," he said, "I don't see why I shouldn't like doing my duty."

"Oh, Jeremy!" sighed his wife. "You know I didn't mean that."

"I know exactly what you meant." He dropped h