lamed, and deservedly so. Refusing to accept presents of game from a
prince of the blood, who moreover sends it in so polite a manner, is less
the delicacy of a haughty man, who wishes to preserve his independence,
than the rusticity of a clown, who does not know himself. I have never
read this letter in my collection without blushing and reproaching myself
for having written it. But I have not undertaken my Confession with an
intention of concealing my faults, and that of which I have just spoken
is too shocking in my own eyes to suffer me to pass it over in silence.

If I were not guilty of the offence of becoming his rival I was very near
doing it; for Madam de Boufflers was still his mistress, and I knew
nothing of the matter. She came rather frequently to see me with the
Chevalier de Lorenzy. She was yet young and beautiful, affected to be
whimsical, and my mind was always romantic, which was much of the same
nature. I was near being laid hold of; I believe she perceived it; the
chevalier saw it also, at least he spoke to me upon the subject, and in a
manner not discouraging. But I was this time reasonable, and at the age
of fifty it was time I should be so. Full of the doctrine I had just
preached to graybeards in my letter to D'Alembert, I should have been
ashamed of not profiting by it myself; besides, coming to the knowledge
of that of which I had been ignorant, I must have been mad to have
carried my pretensions so far as to expose myself to such an illustrious
rivalry. Finally, ill cured perhaps of my passion for Madam de Houdetot,
I felt nothing could replace it in my heart, and I bade adieu to love for
the rest of my life. I have this moment just withstood the dangerous
allurements of a young woman who had her views; and if she feigned to
forget my twelve lustres I remember them. After having thus withdrawn
myself from danger, I am no longer afraid of a fall, and I answer for
myself for the rest of my days.

Madam de Boufflers, perceiving the emotion she caused in me, might also
observe I had triumphed over it. I am neither mad nor vain enough to
believe I was at my age capable of inspiring her with the same feelings;
but, from certain words which she let drop to Theresa, I thought I had
inspired her with a curiosity; if this be the case, and that she has not
forgiven me the disappointment she met with, it must be confessed I was
born to be the victim of my weaknesses, since triumphant love was s