to
draw with crayon. He took it into his head to attempt the portrait of
Madam de Luxembourg; the sketch he produced was horrid. She said it did
not in the least resemble her and this was true. The traitorous abbe
consulted me, and I like a fool and a liar, said there was a likeness.
I wished to flatter the abbe, but I did not please the lady who noted
down what I had said, and the abbe, having obtained what he wanted,
laughed at me in his turn. I perceived by the ill success of this my
late beginning the necessity of making another attempt to flatter 'invita
Minerva'.

My talent was that of telling men useful but severe truths with energy
and courage; to this it was necessary to confine myself. Not only I was
not born to flatter, but I knew not how to commend. The awkwardness of
the manner in which I have sometimes bestowed eulogium has done me more
harm than the severity of my censure. Of this I have to adduce one
terrible instance, the consequences of which have not only fixed my fate
for the rest of my life, but will perhaps decide on my reputation
throughout all posterity.

During the residence of M. de Luxembourg at Montmorency, M. de Choiseul
sometimes came to supper at the castle. He arrived there one day after I
had left it. My name was mentioned, and M. de Luxembourg related to him
what had happened at Venice between me and M. de Montaigu. M. de
Choiseul said it was a pity I had quitted that track, and that if I chose
to enter it again he would most willingly give me employment. M. de
Luxembourg told me what had passed. Of this I was the more sensible as I
was not accustomed to be spoiled by ministers, and had I been in a better
state of health it is not certain that I should not have been guilty of a
new folly. Ambition never had power over my mind except during the short
intervals in which every other passion left me at liberty; but one of
these intervals would have been sufficient to determine me. This good
intention of M. de Choiseul gained him my attachment and increased the
esteem which, in consequence of some operations in his administration,
I had conceived for his talents; and the family compact in particular had
appeared to me to evince a statesman of the first order. He moreover
gained ground in my estimation by the little respect I entertained for
his predecessors, not even excepting Madam de Pompadour, whom I
considered as a species of prime minister, and when it was reported that