e day of their arrival. He lived in Paris, but
had never been to see me. My sisters, he said, were of the party; we
were all to see Paris together. The first day we were to dine in the
Palais-Royal, so as to be near the Theatre-Francais. In spite of the
intoxication such a programme of unhoped-for delights excited, my joy
was dampened by the wind of a coming storm, which those who are used
to unhappiness apprehend instinctively. I was forced to own a debt of
a hundred francs to the Sieur Doisy, who threatened to ask my parents
himself for the money. I bethought me of making my brother the emissary
of Doisy, the mouth-piece of my repentance and the mediator of pardon.
My father inclined to forgiveness, but my mother was pitiless; her dark
blue eye froze me; she fulminated cruel prophecies: "What should I
be later if at seventeen years of age I committed such follies? Was I
really a son of hers? Did I mean to ruin my family? Did I think myself
the only child of the house? My brother Charles's career, already begun,
required large outlay, amply deserved by his conduct which did honor to
the family, while mine would always disgrace it. Did I know nothing of
the value of money, and what I cost them? Of what use were coffee and
sugar to my education? Such conduct was the first step into all the
vices."
After enduring the shock of this torrent which rasped my soul, I was
sent back to school in charge of my brother. I lost the dinner at the
Freres Provencaux, and was deprived of seeing Talma in Britannicus.
Such was my first interview with my mother after a separation of twelve
years.
When I had finished school my father left me under the guardianship of
Monsieur Lepitre. I was to study the higher mathematics, follow a course
of law for one year, and begin philosophy. Allowed to study in my own
room and released from the classes, I expected a truce with trouble.
But, in spite of my nineteen years, perhaps because of them, my father
persisted in the system which had sent me to school without food, to an
academy without pocket-money, and had driven me into debt to Doisy. Very
little money was allowed to me, and what can you do in Paris without
money? Moreover, my freedom was carefully chained up. Monsieur Lepitre
sent me to the law school accompanied by a man-of-all-work who handed me
over to the professor and fetched me home again. A young girl would have
been treated with less precaution than my mother's fears insisted on fo
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