ody has ridden about all day
in the fresh air, never had any exercise, and got an enormous appetite.
Besides, in the summer we've always been drinking beer to wash down the
dust, and in the winter soup, or spirits, or something to warm us. My
dear fellow, you can't think what an appetite motoring gives you. I had
an enormous steak for my lunch at Winchester to-day, and a great lump of
plum cake with my tea at Aldershot, and my aunt, the General's wife,
made me bring a bag of biscuits to eat on the way up, and yet I'm so
hungry now that I should feel quite uncomfortable if the thirst those
biscuits, and the dust, gave me didn't make me almost forget it. I
suppose everyone is really getting fat. One notices it when one does
happen to see a thin fellow like you. Why, in all the Clubs they've had
to have new arm-chairs, because the old ones were too narrow. However,
I've talked enough about motoring. So glad to see you again, old chap.
Of course you'll get a motor as soon as possible."

"Well," said Skinner, "I rather think I shall buy a horse."

"My dear fellow," cried Round, "what an idea! Horse-riding is such
awfully bad form. Besides, you can't go any pace. Look at me. I wouldn't
get on a horse, and be shaken to pieces."

"I should think not," said Skinner, "but I think I should prefer that to
motorobesity."

* * * * *

An advertisement in _The Motor_ quotes the testimony of a gentleman from
Moreton-in-the-Marsh, who states that he has run a certain car "nearly
412,500 miles in four months, and is more than pleased with it." As this
works out (on a basis of twenty-four hours' running _per diem_) at about
143 miles per hour, we have pleasure in asking what the police are doing
in Moreton-in-the-Marsh and its vicinity.

* * * * *

Noticing an advertisement of a book entitled "The Complete Motorist," an
angry opponent of the new method of locomotion writes to suggest that
the companion volume, "The Complete Pedestrian," had better be written
at once before it becomes impossible to find an entire specimen.

* * * * *

MAXIM FOR CYCLISTS.--"_Try_-cycle before you _Buy_-cycle."

* * * * *

Illustration: Motorist (a novice) has been giving chairman of local
urban council a practical demonstration of the ease with which a
motor-car can be controlled when travelling at a high speed.

*