.
Or in playing, quick or dead;
And if Gabriel "in that morning"
Wants a good old trump that swings,
Just let "central" sound his warning
While the 'phone bells rings!

The Negro's Warning.

Doan't yuh grumble, brudder!
Doan't yuh nebber doubt it,
Debbil gwine ter git yuh
'Foh yuh think erbout it!
Put yuh in de iurn-works
Whar de sinnah weeps,
Loadin' up de injines
Shovelin' coal fer keeps!

The Kingbolt Philosopher.

"I've often noticed," said Uncle Ezra Mudge, as he slowly filled his
Missouri meerschaum with Virginia twist,--"I've offen noticed thet nerve
is the most vallyble asset in the credit items of human life. The pore
man thet's got a plenty of it is an uncrowned king with pears's an'
di'monds at his command, but the king thet lacks it will soon be
uncrowned too. When a rich man er a famous man gits down in the mouth
onct an' loses his nerve, it's all day with him in a minnet, an' a rope
or a six-shooter ginerally winds him up. But if a feller hangs on to his
nerve, he is alright fer the sights and scenes of this world an' he
needn't be nussin' any worries 'bout the next one."

"Hands Around, My Honey."

Sparrow on the wagon-shed,
Chirping with a will;
Robin in the cherry-tree
Warblin' fit to kill!
Every thing's rejoicin',
Hidin' of the wrong,--
So hands around, my honey,
And we'll join the song!

Mock-bird on the chimney top,--
How that rascal mocks,--
Spillin' songs of melody,
From his music-box!
Over all the live-long place
All the pleasures throng,
So hands around, my honey,
And we'll join the song!

The Spirit of Compromise.

"I done heah dat de dimmycrats kinder comp'omised at de St. Looey
convention meetin'," said old Black Mose. "I tell you, man, dat
com'p'omisin' bis'ness am a great thing, suah! My ole woman en' me hez
quahled en' fit en' fussed erroun' fer nigh fohty yeahs ober wheddah I
should pack in de watah er chop de wood, en' we fin'ly comp'omised de
mattah by hur a doin ob 'em bofe!"

Best of All.

Pie-million, cantaloope;
Musk-million tall;
But de blessed worter-million
Am de bes' of all!
Whar de worter-million grows,
Hebben's dar bechune de rows!

The Kingbolt Philosopher.

"It hain't so much difference what kind of work you do as how you do
it," said Uncle Ezra Mudge. "Th