had escaped my
attention and this was that the stateroom to which I had been assigned
was not _C-34_, but _B-34_.

If this were C-deck, the deck immediately above must perforce be B-deck?
Thus I reasoned, and thus was I correct, as speedily transpired. Pausing
only to gather up my effects and to make my excuses to sundry impatient
and grumbling voyagers who had packed themselves in the cross-hall
beyond, while I was consulting my ticket, I journeyed upward to B-deck.
Upon coming to No. 34, and again finding the key in the door and the
door unlatched, I entered as before.

[Illustration: "I," SHE SAID "AM MAJOR JONES"]

This time it was a female voice which brought me to an instantaneous
standstill. For the instant I could not see the owner of the voice--the
previously-mentioned steamer rug being in the way--but the challenge
conveyed by her tone was unmistakable.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Thus was I addressed.

Before replying, I sought to comply with the conventionalities of the
occasion by doffing my hat. The difficulties of removing a hat with a
hand which holds at the moment an umbrella and a small portmanteau can
only be appreciated by one who has attempted the experiment. I
succeeded, it is true, in baring my head, but knocked off my glasses and
precipitated my steamer rug and a package of books to the floor, where
my hat had already fallen. Lacking the aid of my glasses, my vision is
defective, but I was able to make out the form of a lady of mature
years, and plainly habited, who confronted me at a distance of but a
pace or two.

"Pray forgive me," I said hastily, "pray forgive me, Madam. I was under
the impression that this was stateroom B-34."

"It is," she answered in a manner which but served to increase my
perturbation. "What of it?"

"Nothing," I said, "nothing--except that there must be some mistake. I
was given to understand that I was to occupy B-34, sharing it with a
Major Jones, a military gentleman, I assume."

"I," she said, "am Major Jones."

To a statement so astounding I could only respond by confusedly saying,
"Oh, Madam! Oh, Madam!"

"Major Maggie J. Jones, of the Salvation Army," she continued. "Probably
I made the original mistake by not letting the steamship people know
that a Major may be a woman."

"Madam," I said, "I beseech you to remain calm and make no outcry. I
shall at once withdraw."

This I accordingly did, she obligingly passing out to me through a sli