Can you doubt amidst such
numerous tokens of past and present mercy?"
"No, sir; I mostly am enabled to preserve a clear evidence of his love. I
do not wish to add to my other sins that of denying his manifest goodness
to my soul. I would acknowledge it to his praise and glory."
"What is your present view of the state in which you were before you felt
seriously concerned about the salvation of your soul?"
"Sir, I was a proud, thoughtless girl, fond of dress and finery; I loved
the world, and the things that are in the world; I lived in service among
worldly people, and never had the happiness of being in a family where
worship was regarded, and the souls of the servants cared for either by
master or mistress. I went once on a Sunday to church, more to see and
be seen than to pray or hear the word of God. I thought I was quite good
enough to be saved, and disliked and often laughed at religious people. I
was in great darkness; I knew nothing of the way of salvation; I never
prayed, nor was sensible of the awful danger of a prayerless state. I
wished to maintain the character of a good servant, and was much lifted
up whenever I met with applause. I was tolerably moral and decent in my
conduct, from motives of carnal and worldly policy; but I was a stranger
to God and Christ; I neglected my soul; and had I died in such a state,
hell must, and would justly, have been my portion."
"How long is it since you heard the sermon which you hope, through God's
blessing, effected your conversion?"
"About five years ago."
"How was it brought about?"
"It was reported that a Mr ---, who was detained by contrary winds from
embarking on board ship, as chaplain to a distant part of the world, was
to preach at church. Many advised me not to go, for fear he should turn
my head; as they said he held strange notions. But curiosity and an
opportunity of appearing in a new gown, which I was very proud of,
induced me to ask leave of my mistress to go. Indeed, sir, I had no
better motives than vanity and curiosity. Yet thus it pleased the Lord
to order it for his own glory.
"I accordingly went to church, and saw a great crowd of people collected
together. I often think of the contrary states of my mind during the
former and latter part of the service. For a while, regardless of the
worship of God, I looked around me, and was anxious to attract notice
myself. My dress, like that of too many gay, vain, and silly servant
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