er he had on hand, various causes delayed the wedding for
another year. Even with Suckling's help the question of means was
pressing; and while, with pardonable self-justification, he gloried to
his betrothed that "the world is convinced that I am superior to
pecuniary considerations in my public and private life, as in both
instances I might have been rich," he nevertheless owned to regretting
that he "had not given greater attention to making money." Besides, as
he wrote to his brother, "What should I do carrying a wife in a ship,
and when I marry I do not mean to part with my wife." The cruising
duty of the "Boreas" took her from port to port of the limited area
embraced in the Leeward Islands Station, and Nevis was among the least
important of the points demanding his attention. He was, therefore,
frequently away from his betrothed during this period, and absence
rather fanned than cooled the impetuous ardor which he carried into
all his undertakings. Whether it were the pursuit of a love affair, or
the chase of an enemy's fleet, delays served only to increase the
vehemence with which Nelson chafed against difficulties. "Duty," he
tells Mrs. Nisbet, "is the great business of a sea officer,--all
private considerations must give way to it, however painful it is;"
but he owns he wishes "the American vessels at the Devil, and the
whole continent of America to boot," because they detain him from her
side.
There is no singularity in the experience that obstacles tend rather
to inflame than to check a lover's eagerness. What is noteworthy in
Nelson's letters at this time is the utter absence of any illusions,
of any tendency to exaggerate and glorify the qualities of the woman
who for the nonce possessed his heart. There is not a sign of the
perturbation of feeling, of the stirring of the soul, that was
afterwards so painfully elicited by another influence. "The dear
object," he writes to his brother, "you must like. Her sense, polite
manners, and, to you I may say, beauty, you will much admire. She
possesses sense far superior to half the people of our acquaintance,
and her manners are Mrs. Moutray's." The same calm, measured tone
pervades all his mention of her to others. His letters to herself, on
the other hand, are often pleasing in the quiet, simple, and generally
unaffected tenderness which inspires them. In a more ordinary man,
destined to more commonplace fortunes, they might well be regarded as
promising that e
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