forgave
the past, and responded to this change of tone. "I have been upon the
best terms with the Admiral," he wrote from Barbadoes to his intended
wife in April, 1786, "and I declare I think I could ever remain so. He
is always remarkably kind and civil to every one;" and again, a few
days earlier, "The admiral is highly pleased with my conduct here, as
you will believe, by sending me such fine lines with a white hat. I
well know I am not of abilities to deserve what he has said of me: but
I take it as they are meant, to show his regard for me; and his
politeness and attention to me are great: nor shall I forget it. I
like the man, although not all his acts." He then directs that the
lines shall not be shown to any one, "as the compliment is paid to me
at the expense of the officers of the squadron," an injunction
thoroughly characteristic of the man's kindly consideration for
others. It was creditable to Hughes that, after being so braved, and
his instructions set at naught, by his junior, he had candor enough to
see and acknowledge his merit; but the fact still remained that in the
hour of trial he had failed Nelson, nor did the latter, though he
forgave, forget it. As he wrote to Locker in September, 1786, after
the admiral's departure, "Instead of being supported by my admiral, I
was obliged to keep him up, for he was frightened at this business;"
of which business he truly said, emphasizing, but not at all
exaggerating, the gravity of the responsibility he had taken in
defiance of his superior: "After loss of health and risk of fortune,
another is thanked for what I did against his orders. _Either I
deserved to be sent out of the service_,[15] or at least to have had
some little notice taken of me."

Nelson indeed, in the West Indies, as an unknown captain, had done
that which as a junior admiral he did later at Copenhagen, at a moment
far more critical to Great Britain. By his own unusual powers of
impulse and resolve he had enforced, as far as was possible against
the passive, inert lethargy--not to say timidity--of his superior, the
course of action which at the moment was essential to the interests of
his country. Truly great in his strength to endure, he knew not the
perturbations nor the vacillations that fret the temper, and cripple
the action, of smaller men; and, however harassed and distressed
externally, the calmness of a clear insight and an unshaken purpose
guided his footsteps, unwavering, in the p