e. The Great Powers discovered in Council._

_Russia_. Now, I think I have arranged matters fairly well. I shall
myself lend a hand to France, and that will keep the balance decently
level, so far as Germany is concerned.

_Germany_. Will it? I can fight you both!

_Austria_. Now, keep quiet. If we are to be partners, you must not be
so impulsive.

_Italy_. Just what I say. Why can't he take it calmly!

_Russia_. Well, of course it's not my business; but if you want to
break up the Triple Alliance, that's the way to do it! Well, then,
France employed with you boys on the Rhine, I shall move down south,
and quietly occupy Constantinople. Now, no one could object to that!

_Germany_. Why, I should, and so would Austria, wouldn't you?

_Austria_. Of course. But what could we do, if we were hard at work
with France?

_Italy_. Yes; and fancy the Mediterranean becoming a Russian lake!

_Russia_. Oh, you would soon grow accustomed to it! Then I should move
on to Afghanistan, and quietly make my way to India. But all this has
to be done after the first step is taken. England must scuttle out of
Egypt.

_England_. Scuttle out of Egypt? Why, certainly! After consideration!
[_Left considering._

* * * * *

[Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD.

_Young Lady_ (_in Contralto tones of remarkable depth and richness_).
"HAVE YOU GOT ANY _LOW_ FRENCH SONGS?"

_Music Publisher_ (_indignantly_). "_CERTAINLY_ NOT, MISS! YOU MUST
TRY SOME OTHER ESTABLISHMENT!"]

* * * * *

ROBERT ON THE COMING SHO.

[Illustration]

What a prowd and appy day dear old Whales is about for to have on the
werry next Lord Mare's Day, as is cumming, which it's the ninth of nex
month, which it's nex Monday. Not only is wun of the werry populusest
of living Welchmen a going for to be made Lord MARE on that werry day,
but the Prince of WHALES hisself, who was inwited but karnt kum cos
he's keepin' his hone Jewbilly at ome that appy and horspigious day.
Praps Madam HADDYLEANER PATTY (wich is quite a Welch name) would kum
up an give us a treat on this okashun.

Praps my enthewsiasm in the cause of Whales may be xcused when I
reweals the fack that I am myself arf a Welchman, as my Mother was
a reel one before me, and so, strange to say, was my Huncle, her
Brother. There was sum idear of dressing me up as a Bard with a Arp,
and I was to jine in when the rest on us struck up "_The March of the