o criticise, when by her side;
Nor would the lady have demeaned
Herself to answer, had you tried.

But when you've won her for a wife,
And ante-nuptial glamour dies,
What food for matrimonial strife
Her crass inconsequent replies.
How terrible to find her dense,
And never grasping what you mean;
You'll think one gleam of common sense
Worth more than finest eyes e'er seen.

Days come when love no longer gives
Illusions as in hours of yore;
And hapless is the man who lives
To find his wife become a bore.
Then keep, if you'd avoid that day,
The wise _Spectator's_ golden rule:
Don't be by beauty led away,
And choose for wife a pretty fool.

* * * * *

In the _Times'_ book advertisement column, the S.P.C.K. announces the
following new publication:--

THE OUSE. By the Rev. A.J. FOSTER, M.A.

This, we suppose, is the first of a new unaspirated ARRY SERIES.
The next Volume being _The Ome_, and, after that, _Books of Ighgate,
Amsted, Olloway, and other Ills_.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration]

The Baron recognises, with pleasure, the actuality of the dramatic
scenes _In Cambridge Courts_, by Mr. LEHMANN. The dialogues during
rehearsal at the A.D.C., and of the Classic Play, are about the best
of the many best things in the book. Mightily disappointed is the
Baron with Mr. J.H. SHORTHOUSE's _Lady Falaise_, which, beginning
so strongly, ends so feebly. Powerful it promised to be; exciting it
promised to be; but weak it becomes, and, now and again, wearisome.
Sorry for this is

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

QUERIES FOR CANDIDATES (L.C.C.)

(_WHAT THEY MAY COME TO._)

As the County Council now has power over the Tramways of London,
will you pledge yourself to see that smoking carriages, comfortable
cushions, waiting-rooms at street-corners, and constant civility, are
provided for passengers?

Will you abolish the irritating and nefarious Ticket System?

How long do you think it will be before the electric light is
universally established in the cars?

What is your view as to the provision of suitable places for wet
umbrellas?

Will you at once vote for "Free or Assisted Locomotion"?

If a wheel of your private carriage comes off owing to skidding in
the Tramway line, will you pledge yourself not to bring any claim for
compensati