es I wouldn't have a nickel I could jingle against a tombstone.
I boated on the Ohio and Mississippi to New Orleans, then up on the
Lakes. I was always wandering, but never at rest, sometimes in prison,
and sometimes miles away from human habitation, often remorseful, always
wondering what the end would be.

I recollect, after being eighty-two days on the river to New Orleans,
being paid off with over $125. I left the steamer at Pittsburg, and the
first thing I did was to go and get a jug of beer. Before I got anywhere
near drunk I was before Judge White, and was fined $8.40, and
discharged. I wasn't free half an hour before I was arrested again,
brought before Judge White, and again fined $8.40. After being free for
about fifteen minutes, I was again brought before Judge White, who
looked at me this time and said, "Can't you keep sober?" I said, "Your
Honor, I haven't had a drink since the first time." And I hadn't. But he
said, "Five days," and I was shut up for that time, and I was in hell
there five days if ever a man was.

Out of jail, I drifted with the tide. I was arrested for a trick that,
if I had got my just dues, would have put me in prison for ten years,
but I got off with three years, and came out after doing two years and
nine months.

When a person is cooped up he has lots of time to think. It's think,
think, think, and hope. Many's the time I said, "Oh, if I only get out
and still have my health, what a change there will be!" And I meant it.

Isn't it queer how people will say, "I can't stop drinking," but when
they're in jail they have to! The prison is a sanitarium for drunkards.
They don't drink while on a visit there. Then why not stop it while one
has a free foot? I thought of all these things while I was locked up,
and I decided that when I was free I would hunt up my wife and baby and
be a man.

Prison at best isn't a pleasant place, but you can get the best in it if
you behave. There's no coaxing you to be good. They won't say, "If you
don't behave I'll send you home." It isn't like school. You have to
behave or it's worse for you, for they certainly put you through some
pretty tough things. Many's the time I got on my knees and told God all
about it. If a man is crossing the street, sees a car coming, and is
sure it will hit him, the first thing he says is, "Oh, God, save me!"
The car misses him by a foot, and he forgets how much he owes. He simply
says, "Thank you, God; when I'm in danger