truth," Lavretsky
interrupted her. "Experience, prudence, all that is dust and ashes! Do
not deprive yourself of the best, of the sole happiness on earth."

"Do you say that, Fedor Ivanitch? You yourself married for love, and
were you happy?"

Lavretsky threw up his arms.

"Ah, don't talk about me! You can't even understand all that a young,
inexperienced, badly brought-up boy may mistake for love! Indeed though,
after all, why should I be unfair to myself? I told you just now that I
had not had happiness. No! I was not happy!"

"It seems to me, Fedor Ivanitch," Lisa murmured in a low voice--when she
did not agree with the person whom she was talking, she always dropped
her voice; and now too she was deeply moved--"happiness on earth does
not depend on ourselves."

"On ourselves, ourselves, believe me" (he seized both her hands; Lisa
grew pale and almost with terror but still steadfastly looked at him):
"if only we do not ruin our lives. For some people marriage for love may
be unhappiness; but not for you, with your calm temperament, and your
clear soul; I beseech you, do not marry without love, from a sense
of duty, self-sacrifice, or anything.... That is infidelity, that is
mercenary, and worse still. Believe me,--I have the right to say so; I
have paid dearly for the right. And if your God--."

At that instant Lavretsky noticed that Lenotchka and Shurotchka were
standing near Lisa, and staring in dumb amazement at him. He dropped
Lisa's hands, saying hurriedly, "I beg your pardon," and turned away
towards the house.

"One thing only I beg of you," he added, returning again to Lisa; "don't
decide at once, wait a little, think of what I have said to you. Even
if you don't believe me, even if you did decide on a marriage of
prudence--even in that case you mustn't marry Panshin. He can't be your
husband. You will promise me not to be in a hurry, won't you?"

Lisa tried to answer Lavretsky, but she did not utter a word--not
because she was resolved to "be in a hurry," but because her heart was
beating too violently and a feeling, akin to terror, stopped her breath.

Chapter XXX

As he was coming away from the Kalitins, Lavretsky met Panshin; they
bowed coldly to one another. Lavretsky went to his lodgings, and locked
himself in. He was experiencing emotions such as he had hardly ever
experienced before. How long ago was it since he had thought himself in
a state of peaceful petrifaction? How long was it