ensible English.

ADVICE TO LITTLE GIRLS

Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for every
trifling offense. This retaliation should only be resorted to under
peculiarly aggravated circumstances.

If you have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with sawdust, while one of
your more fortunate little playmates has a costly China one, you should
treat her with a show of kindness nevertheless. And you ought not to
attempt to make a forcible swap with her unless your conscience would
justify you in it, and you know you are able to do it.

You ought never to take your little brother's "chewing-gum" away from
him by main force; it is better to rope him in with the promise of
the first two dollars and a half you find floating down the river on a
grindstone. In the artless simplicity natural to this time of life, he
will regard it as a perfectly fair transaction. In all ages of the
world this eminently plausible fiction has lured the obtuse infant to
financial ruin and disaster.

If at any time you find it necessary to correct your brother, do not
correct him with mud--never, on any account, throw mud at him, because
it will spoil his clothes. It is better to scald him a little, for then
you obtain desirable results. You secure his immediate attention to the
lessons you are inculcating, and at the same time your hot water will
have a tendency to move impurities from his person, and possibly the
skin, in spots.

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you
won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as
she bids you, and then afterward act quietly in the matter according to
the dictates of your best judgment.

You should ever bear in mind that it is to your kind parents that you
are indebted for your food, and for the privilege of staying home from
school when you let on that you are sick. Therefore you ought to respect
their little prejudices, and humor their little whims, and put up with
their little foibles until they get to crowding you too much.

Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged. You ought
never to "sass" old people unless they "sass" you first.

POST-MORTEM POETRY (1)

In Philadelphia they have a custom which it would be pleasant to see
adopted throughout the land. It is that of appending to published
death-notices a little verse or two of comforting poetry. Any one who is
in the habit of reading t