t I cannot believe that these large
aggregations of people could have attained their present high culture
without an interval of both national and individual dishonesty--"

"Tell me now, as you are talking," said the sergeant, "did you buy the
poison at a chemist's shop, or did you smother the pair of them with a
pillow?"

"I did not," said the Philosopher. "If crime is a condition precedent to
the evolution of policemen, then I will submit that jackdaws are a very
thievish clan--they are somewhat larger than a blackbird, and will
steal wool off a sheep's back to line their nests with; they have,
furthermore, been known to abstract one shilling in copper and secrete
this booty so ingeniously that it has never since been recovered--"

"I had a jackdaw myself," said one of the men. "I got it from a woman
that came to the door with a basket for fourpence. My mother stood on
its back one day, and she getting out of bed. I split its tongue with
a threepenny bit the way it would talk, but devil the word it ever said
for me. It used to hop around letting on it had a lame leg, and then it
would steal your socks."

"Shut up!" roared the sergeant.

"If," said the Philosopher, "these people steal both from from sheep and
from men, if their peculations range from wool to money, I do not
see how they can avoid stealing from each other, and consequently, if
anywhere, it is amongst jackdaws one should look for the growth of a
police force, but there is no such force in existence. The real reason
is that they are a witty and thoughtful race who look temperately on
what is known as crime and evil--one eats, one steals; it is all in the
order of things, and therefore not to be quarrelled with. There is no
other view possible to a philosophical people--"

"What the devil is he talking about?" said the sergeant.

"Monkeys are gregarious and thievish and semi-human. They inhabit the
equatorial latitudes and eat nuts--"

"Do you know what he is saying, Shawn?"

"I do not," said Shawn.

"--they ought to have evolved professional thief-takers, but it is common
knowledge that they have not done so. Fishes, squirrels, rats, beavers,
and bison have also abstained from this singular growth--therefore,
when I insist that I see no necessity for policemen and object to their
presence, I base that objection on logic and facts, and not on any
immediate petty prejudice."

"Shawn," said the sergeant, "have you got a good grip on that man?"