t parts
of the city.

In fact, one watchman in Kolomna saw with his own eyes the apparition
come from behind a house. But being rather weak of body, he dared
not arrest him, but followed him in the dark, until, at length, the
apparition looked round, paused, and inquired, "What do you want?" at
the same time showing a fist such as is never seen on living men. The
watchman said, "It's of no consequence," and turned back instantly. But
the apparition was much too tall, wore huge moustaches, and, directing
its steps apparently towards the Obukhoff bridge, disappeared in the
darkness of the night.

HOW THE TWO IVANS QUARRELLED

CHAPTER I

IVAN IVANOVITCH AND IVAN NIKIFOROVITCH

A fine pelisse has Ivan Ivanovitch! splendid! And what lambskin! deuce
take it, what lambskin! blue-black with silver lights. I'll forfeit, I
know not what, if you find any one else owning such a one. Look at it,
for heaven's sake, especially when he stands talking with any one! look
at him side-ways: what a pleasure it is! To describe it is impossible:
velvet! silver! fire! Nikolai the Wonder-worker, saint of God! why have
I not such a pelisse? He had it made before Agafya Fedosyevna went to
Kief. You know Agafya Fedosyevna who bit the assessor's ear off?

Ivan Ivanovitch is a very handsome man. What a house he has in Mirgorod!
Around it on every side is a balcony on oaken pillars, and on the
balcony are benches. Ivan Ivanovitch, when the weather gets too warm,
throws off his pelisse and his remaining upper garments, and sits, in
his shirt sleeves, on the balcony to observe what is going on in the
courtyard and the street. What apples and pears he has under his
very windows! You have but to open the window and the branches force
themselves through into the room. All this is in front of the house;
but you should see what he has in the garden. What is there not there?
Plums, cherries, every sort of vegetable, sunflowers, cucumbers, melons,
peas, a threshing-floor, and even a forge.

A very fine man, Ivan Ivanovitch! He is very fond of melons: they
are his favourite food. As soon as he has dined, and come out on his
balcony, in his shirt sleeves, he orders Gapka to bring two melons, and
immediately cuts them himself, collects the seeds in a paper, and begins
to eat. Then he orders Gapka to fetch the ink-bottle, and, with his own
hand, writes this inscription on the paper of seeds: "These melons were
eaten on such and such a date." If