a very great lady, whose gracious manner was never
disturbed, who floated through the endless complications of her life with
smiling serenity, how she achieved this Olympian calm. She was good
enough to explain. "I make a list of what I want to do each day. Then,
as I find my day passing, or I get behind, or tired, I throw over every
other engagement. I could have done them all with hurry and fatigue. I
prefer to do one-half and enjoy what I do. If I go to a house, it is to
remain and appreciate whatever entertainment has been prepared for me. I
never offer to any hostess the slight of a hurried, _distrait_ 'call,'
with glances at my watch, and an 'on-the-wing' manner. It is much easier
not to go, or to send a card."

This brings me around to a subject which I believe is one of the causes
of my correspondent's dilemma. I fear that she never can refuse
anything. It is a peculiar trait of people who go about to amuse
themselves, that they are always sure the particular entertainment they
have been asked to last is going to "be amusing." It rarely is different
from the others, but these people are convinced, that to stay away would
be to miss something. A weary-looking girl about 1 A.M. (at a
house-party) when asked why she did not go to bed if she was so tired,
answered, "the nights I go to bed early, they always seem to do something
jolly, and then I miss it."

There is no greater proof of how much this weary round wears on women
than the acts of the few who feel themselves strong enough in their
position to defy custom. They have thrown off the yoke (at least the
younger ones have) doubtless backed up by their husbands, for men are
much quicker to see the aimlessness of this stupid social routine. First
they broke down the great New-Year-call "grind." Men over forty
doubtless recall with a shudder, that awful custom which compelled a man
to get into his dress clothes at ten A.M., and pass his day rushing about
from house to house like a postman. Out-of-town clubs and sport helped
to do away with that remnant of New Amsterdam. Next came the male revolt
from the afternoon "tea" or "musical." A black coat is rare now at
either of these functions, or if seen is pretty sure to be on a back over
fifty. Next, we lords of creation refused to call at all, or leave our
cards. A married woman now leaves her husband's card with her own, and
sisters leave the "pasteboard" of their brothers and often those of the