," he continued, laughing, "and he doesn't know that, a
few weeks ago, when I insisted on restraining that tendency of mine,
which I see the absurdity of, and falling into a conversation in the
ordinary style of other people, I had to pay for it by complete
annihilation. I prefer telling you all about this myself to letting
Ottmar do it, and add witty comments of his own. At a tea-party where
Ottmar and I were, there was present a certain pretty and clever lady,
as to whom you are in the habit of maintaining that she interests me
more than is right and proper. I went to talk to her, and I admit that
I was a little at a loss how exactly to begin, and she was wicked
enough to gaze at me with questioning eyes. I burst out with 'The new
moon has brought a nice change of weather.' She answered, very quietly:
'Oh, are you writing the Almanac this season?'"

The friends laughed heartily.

"On the other hand," said Ottmar, "I know another young man--and you
all know him--who, particularly with ladies, is never at a loss for the
first word of a talk; in fact, my belief is that he has severely
thought out, in private, a regular system, of the most comprehensive
kind, as to conversation with ladies, which is by no means likely ever
to find him left in the lurch. For instance, one of his dodges is to go
to the prettiest--one who scarce ventures to dip a sweet biscuit in her
tea; who, at the utmost, whispers into the ear of her who is sitting
next to her: 'It is very warm, dear;' to which the latter answers with
equal softness into her ear: 'Dreadfully, my love;' whose communication
goeth not beyond 'Yea, yea,' and 'Nay, nay,'--to go up to such an one,
I say, and, in an artful manner, startle her out of her wits, and
thereby so utterly revolutionize her very being, in such a sudden
manner, that she seems to herself to be no longer the same person:
'Good heavens! how very pale you are looking!' he cried out, recently,
to a pretty creature, as silent as a church, just in the act of
beginning a stitch of silver thread at a purse which she was working.
The young lady let her work fall on her lap in terror, said she was
feeling a little feverish that day. Feverish!--my friend was thoroughly
at home on that subject; could talk upon it in the most interesting
way, like a man who knows his ground; inquired minutely into all the
symptoms; gave advice, gave warnings,--and behold! there was a
delightful, interesting, confidential conversation