y to imagine my grief that day and the days following. I
could scarcely stand; I constantly saw myself on the point of leaving
home. I saw myself flying to the woods, the _gendarmes_ at my heels,
crying, "Halt! halt!" Then I thought of the misery of Catharine, of
Aunt Gredel, of Monsieur Goulden. Then I imagined myself marching in
the ranks with a number of other wretches, to whom they were crying
out, "Forward! charge bayonets!" while whole files were being swept
away. I heard bullets whistle and shells shriek; in a word, I was in a
pitiable state.

"Be calm, Joseph," said Monsieur Goulden; "do not torment yourself
thus. I think that of all who may be drawn there are probably not ten
who can give as good reasons as you for staying at home. The surgeon
must be blind to receive you. Besides, I will see Monsieur the
Commandant. Calm yourself."

But these kind words could not reassure me.

Thus I passed an entire week almost in a trance, and when the day of
the drawing arrived, Thursday morning, I was so pale, so sick-looking
that the parents of conscripts envied, so to speak, my appearance for
their sons. "That fellow," they said, "has a chance; he would drop the
first mile. Some people are born under a lucky star!"

VI

The town-house of Phalsbourg, that Thursday morning, January 15, 1813,
during the drawing of the conscription, was a sight to be seen. To-day
it is bad enough to be drawn, to be forced to leave parents, friends,
home, one's cattle and one's fields, to go and learn--God knows
where--"_One! two!_ one! two! halt! eyes left! eyes right! front!
carry arms!" etc., etc. Yes, this is all bad enough, but there is a
chance of returning. One can say, with something like confidence: "In
seven years I shall see my old nest again, and my parents, and perhaps
my sweetheart. I shall have seen the world, and will perhaps have some
title to be appointed forester or gendarme." This is a comfort for
reasonable people. But _then_, if you had the ill-luck to lose in the
lottery, there was an end of you; often not one in a hundred returned.
The idea that you were only going for a time never entered your head.

The enrolled of Harberg, of Garbourg, and of Quatre-Vents were to draw
first; then those of the city, and lastly those of Wechem and
Mittelbronn.

I was up early in the morning, and with my elbows on the work-bench I
watched the people pass by; young men in blouses, poor old men in
cotton c