d
sensation.

When the Manager of the Itinerant Theatrical Company of which _Nicholas
Nickleby_ and _Smike_ were for a time Members caused the insertion in a
local paper of a paragraph stating "Mr. Crummles is not a Prussian,"
there was some obscurity about his object. It is now clear that his
instinct was sure, his prevision acute. After experience of last seven
weeks all decent-minded men would like it to be known that they are not
Prussians.

_Business done._--Parliament prorogued.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Admiral of the Atlantic_ (_to himself_). "IT IS MY
IMPERIAL PLEASURE TO PRESENT YOU WITH THE ORDER OF THE MASTHEAD BROOM
(FIRST CLASS) IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR CONSPICUOUS SUCCESS IN SWEEPING THE
SEAS."

* * * * *

Illustration: _The Wolff._ "GOOD MORNING, MY DEAR LITTLE RED RIDING
HOOD. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU ONE OF MY PRETTY TALES?"

_Little Miss Holland._ "THANKS; BUT I'M _NOT_ LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD,
AND I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR FAIRY STORIES."

* * * * *

TO A NAVAL CADET

IN THE GRAND FLEET.

[_There are over 500 naval cadets, aged 15 to 17, at present in the
Fleet, serving as midshipmen._]

Young man, a little year ago
At Osborne (where the admirals grow)
I saw you fall on a mimic foe
With tackle and shove and thrust.
There by the jolly trim canteen,
Where the figure-head flaunts her golden sheen,
You fought, or cheered, for your Term fifteen,
As a fellow of mettle must ...
Yet now those deeds seem mighty small
You dared in the chase for a leather ball--
Now that you trip
On His Majesty's Ship
Playing the finest game of all!

A year ago, a naval fight
Was a tantalising dim delight
That fed your dreams on a Wednesday night,
When History prep. was through.
Yet yours was a Destiny strong and clear
That ever, unknown, was stalking near;
And now in a flash, it's here, it's here--
Now are your dreams come true!...
There are grey old admirals in our land
Who never have stood where now you stand,
Here on your feet
In His Majesty's Fleet--
_With a real live enemy hard at hand!_

* * * * *

Britannia to the French Generalissimo:--

"A l'honore do nos deux nations
J'offre--cent mille felicitations!"

* * * * *

Illustration: THE EGOIST.

_Warlike Mistress._ "D