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mned careful--I beg your pardon-- MRS. LORRIMER. Oh, don't apologize, I say it myself!--careful about what? JOHNSTONE. What sort of _husband you choose_. MRS. LORRIMER. Exactly! None of your _ideal_ men for me! I want a man with a bad record! [_Laugh._] Plenty of proof concealed about his person, or not buried too deep in his past for me and my lawyer to ferret out. I've a perfect duck of a lawyer! He made up every bit of evidence about my last husband; that won me my case, and, my dears, it just _happened_ to turn out to be true! [_Laugh._ ETHEL. Speaking of records, who do you think is here to-night? MRS. LORRIMER. _Ned_ Fletcher--!! KITTY. Yes. MRS. LORRIMER. Girls--I'll tell you a secret-- JOHNSTONE. I don't want to hear it. [_Takes a chair left centre, sits and lights cigarette._ MRS. LORRIMER. I'm crazy about him! Where is he? [_Glancing over her shoulder._ KITTY. You've no chance; he's going to marry Marion, if she'll have him. MRS. LORRIMER. What a shame! And will she? ETHEL. She's mad about him! MRS. LORRIMER. The moth and the flame! What a pity! because he'd be simply ideal for me! Why, do you know I hear that he-- [_Stops suddenly, looking at_ JOHNSTONE _and_ FANSHAW. JOHNSTONE. What do you hear? I'm in this. MRS. LORRIMER. I forgot Johnny and Mr. Fanshaw--there are certain things you mustn't talk about before innocent little boys! FANSHAW. You couldn't tell _us anything about Ned Fletcher_! MRS. LORRIMER. [_Laughing._] I don't want to! But I thought Marion was always going to marry Douglas Rhodes. KITTY. Oh, that's all off now. It's Ned Fletcher or nothing with Marion. ETHEL. [_Laughing_.] I believe she thinks she's going to reform him! [_All laugh._ KITTY. There's one thing, he isn't after Marion's money. ETHEL. Is he so rich? JOHNSTONE. Oh, rotten! [KITTY _slaps_ JOHNSTONE. MRS. LORRIMER. Very well, do you know what I shall do? I shall take Douglas. ETHEL. [_Hastily._] Yes, catch his heart on the rebound; they say it's easier that way! JOHNSTONE. That's one on you, Mrs. Lorrimer. [_Party gag._] MRS. LORRIMER. Oh, I'm not so very old, and have had two splendid husbands already. I don't think I have to bother about the easiest way. JOHNSTONE. Philopene, Ethel? That's one on _you_. MRS. LORRIMER. Has it been your method, my dear, because if so I can't congratulate you on the result. You must look out for a stronger rebound next time! Try a di
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